My Unsmurfy Valentine/Part 1

NOTE: This is just a preview of the first chapter in this story.

Empath's personal journal.

''Once again it is Valentine's Day in the Smurf Village, and as usual the Smurfs are busy preparing to celebrate it by making up special gifts that they can give to Smurfette for that special day. Of course, for this year's Valentine's Day, Smurfette suggested that we should have a dance so that everybody could enjoy themselves and have an opportunity to dance with Smurfette. This idea has received unanimous support from the Smurfs, even though Grouchy simply states that he hates dancing. However, this smurf does feel concerned for two Smurfs in the village -- Vanity and Century, who feel like they're outcasts because they feel attracted only to themselves. This smurf wishes that there is something that this smurf can do to make the two Smurfs feel better about themselves and that their fellow Smurfs do care about them as well, but alas, this seems like something only Cupid the cherub could ever hope to cure them of, if that's possible.'' - Empath and Polaris went around the village during their usual rounds of inspecting all the daily activities that were taking place, seeing for themselves that every Smurf is busy preparing themselves for Valentine's Day.

"This one is curious as to why the Smurfs would engage in an activity of expressing their love for Smurfette, even if it seems evident that most of her amorous interest is in you, Empath," Polaris said.

"Smurfette is free to feel whatever she wants for her fellow Smurfs, Polaris," Empath said. "That's one of the things that this smurf and her have agreed upon when we both entered this relationship together, and that this smurf will not feel jealous if she decides to spend her time with any other Smurf besides this smurf."

"You are only fortunate that there's just one Smurf in the village who possesses whatever characteristics Smurfette happens to see in you, Empath," Polaris said. "This one would think that your willingness to not be jealous will be challenged should be there another Smurf of your type that Smurfette finds herself attracted to."

Empath chuckled at the thought. "Another Smurf like this smurf? Well, that would be interesting to witness if that should ever happen. By the way, what do you plan on giving Smurfette for Valentine's Day?"

"Why are you assuming that this one has an amorous interest in Smurfette, Empath?" Polaris asked.

"Oh, come on, Polaris," Empath said. "You don't find Smurfette to be the least bit attractive to you?"

"Smurfette is indeed a pleasant enough person that this one would want to be more acquainted with her, Empath, but this one does not find her 'attractive' in whatever sense you would want to define the term," Polaris responded.

"So who or what exactly are you attracted to?" Empath asked.

"You should know that Psyches are not created to have physical attractions toward any person, since the Psyche Master created Psyches mainly for the purpose of obeying his will," Polaris answered.

"That sounds like something the Psyche Master wants you to believe, but you're living among the Smurfs now," Empath said. "You've got to feel something besides what you normally would feel as a Psyche, since there's nothing here that's inhibiting your emotions."

"What this one feels here is liberated to live however this one chooses to live within reasonable limits, and if that includes not having feelings of attraction toward anyone, then so be it," Polaris said, sounding like he didn't want to be questioned.

"Okay, okay, this smurf understands and acknowledges," Empath said defensively. "It's just that this smurf doesn't want to see you lonely without anyone for company."

"This one does not need to fear the possibility of loneliness as long as there are this one's fellow Smurfs for this one to interact wth, Empath," Polaris said.

The both of them entered Tapper's Tavern, where they saw its proprietor hard at work doing some cleaning. "Smurf o' the morning to you, lads," Tapper greeted. "What smurfs you to my tavern this fine Valentine's Day morning?"

"This smurf and Polaris are just observing all the preparation activities leading to the party we're going to be having, Tapper," Empath said. "Do you have enough drinks for the Smurfs to enjoy?"

"Aye, Empath, and I also have seltzer for your friend, since I know very much how he can't smurf his liquor from just one glass of sarsaparilla ale," Tapper said. "Though on this day that we celebrate love for one another as well as romantic love, I do worry much about our friend Vanity."

"What is it about Vanity that requires your concern for him on this day, fellow Tapper?" Polaris asked.

"You know, that he's a Smurf who doesn't smurf the same kind of attractions as every other Smurf in the village, my good Polaris," Tapper said. "Most of the time he spends smurfing himself in the mirror, thinking about the one Smurf he is enamored to, and I keep wondering what's going to happen to him if he can't satisfy his desires with just his reflection."

"You think that Vanity might possibly turn to...being attracted to another male Smurf?" Empath asked.

"Aye, that is the very thing that I fear of him," Tapper said. "In fact, that is also what I fear for much of this village because we only have one Smurfette to smurf our affections to, since there's only one of us that can end up marrying her when it's all said and smurfed."

"But such behavior would not be appropriate or tolerated in this village among your people, and it would also go against what you believe in your religion, Tapper," Polaris said.

"I would be the last Smurf in the village who would want to force a Smurf to live a life that's entirely pleasing to the Almighty, Polaris, but apart from trying to be a good witness, what else can I smurf for anyone?" Tapper said. "We live in a fallen world that's smurfed with the temptations of the flesh and the devil, and I don't want to see the village smurf the way of other civilizations such as Sodom and Gomorrah."

"This smurf shares the same sentiments, and doesn't envy the position you're placed in with your beliefs, Tapper," Empath said. "This smurf just wishes that there was a way to satisfy every Smurf's desire besides just going to the Imaginarium to fulfill them."

"This one is rather surprised to find out that the first use of the Imaginarium was to allow certain Smurfs to share private intimate moments with an imagined version of Smurfette," Polaris said.

"Well, like every creature in the forest, a Smurf's got his needs to attend to," Empath said.

"I'm not sure Smurfette would like the idea of how the Smurfs are using the Imaginarium, but alas, we can't control the imaginations of our fellow Smurfs now, can we?" Tapper said with a hint of distaste in his voice. "Unfortunately, our imaginations can end up smurfing us into total depravity if there's no check in our spirits to keep us from smurfing into things that even Papa Smurf in all his wisdom wouldn't approve of."

"You mean that if there's nothing to keep you Smurfs from ultimately becoming like the savage creatures that the Psyche Master deeply despises, then even you, Tapper, would fall prey to fulfilling such base desires without caring who gets hurt in the process," Polaris said.

"That's exactly what I'm smurfing, my fellow Polaris," Tapper said. "The Almighty smurfs in the book of Jeremiah that the heart is deceitful above all things and is desperately wicked, and who can know it. Even I can be surprised at what He reveals in my heart that makes me shudder and realize that I'm not as perfect as He would want me to be, that I have not lived up to the model of His only begotten Son."

"That's hard for this smurf to accept you as being, Tapper, for all the years we have known each other," Empath said. "But you know your own self better than this smurf knows my own self, and you know what your Almighty requires of you better than any Smurf, so this smurf can't judge you on what this smurf doesn't know of your religion."

"Nonetheless, the idea of seeking purity in body, mind, heart, and spirit is a noble quest for a living being to undertake even among a group such as your own people, Empath," Polaris said.

"As long as this smurf isn't forced into a religion that this smurf can't accept in this smurf's own heart, then this smurf would have to agree with you, Polaris," Empath said. - Meanwhile, Sassette was with Papa Smurf in his laboratory that morning, because she had an important question that was on her mind, and she felt more comfortable asking him the question than asking anyone else, including Brainy. "Pappy Smurf, where do the cherubs like Cupid smurf from?" she asked.

"The cherubs smurf from the Land of Myth, just like our friend Michael the leprechaun and Smurfette's friend Blue Eyes, my little Sassette," Papa Smurf said. "Their job is to help creatures in the world smurf in love with each other so that they can smurf families together and teach them the proper ways of smurfing."

"So we're just smurfed into this world to create families?" Sassette said. "That doesn't sound much like smurfing to me, if they can't also smurf any fun with each other."

"There's nothing to prevent us from smurfing any fun in our smurfing, Sassette, but we must know what kind of fun is helpful to ourselves and others as well as what kind of fun isn't," Papa Smurf said. "That is why when you get to be an older Smurfette, you must be careful of who you smurf yourself to and not abuse the sacred gift that Mother Nature has smurfed you in your maidenhood."

"But I just don't feel attracted to any of the Smurflings that are my age, Pappy," Sassette said.

"You're still a young Smurfling, and you have years ahead of you before the time comes when you do feel attracted to your fellow Smurflings," Papa Smurf said. "Being a Mama Smurf is a very important responsibility that's going to require a dedicated and loving Smurfette to attend to when she smurfs of age to become one. You are very fortunate to have a Baby Smurf in the village to practice such duties with right now, but all the same, you must never become a Mama Smurf until the time smurfs when you are ready to smurf the role for yourself."

"I won't, Pappy Smurf, I promise," Sassette said. "I only wish that my fellow Smurflings would smurf the same way."

"If they truly care for you as a Smurfette, Sassette, then they will respect that you won't become a Mama Smurf until one of them marries you," Papa Smurf said.

"Anyway, are all the cherubs from the Land of Myth as good as Cupid is, Pappy Smurf?" Sassette asked.

Papa Smurf stroked his beard as he thought about the question. "Hmmm...I'm not sure that I can quite answer that, Sassette, since Cupid is the only cherub that I personally know of."

Just then, there was a knocking on the door. Papa Smurf went to the door to open it, and found Clumsy standing there. "Uh, hi, Papa Smurf," he said, speaking as if he didn't want anybody else to know what he was doing. "I was wondering if I can smurf to you in private about something."

"I'm rather busy with Sassette at the moment, Clumsy, but I may smurf you some time to talk afterward, once we're done," Papa Smurf said.

"That's okay, Pappy Smurf...I can smurf with you later," Sassette said as she got up from her seat in the laboratory and headed for the door. Papa Smurf allowed Sassette to leave while also letting Clumsy to enter.

"So what's on your mind that you need to smurf to me about, Clumsy?" Papa Smurf asked gently as they both sat down together.

"Uh, I don't feel comfortable letting every Smurf know about this, Papa Smurf, because every Smurf will think that I'm not a normal Smurf for what it is that I'm feeling right now," Clumsy said.

"What exactly are you feeling right now that's making you think you're not normal, Clumsy?" Papa Smurf asked.

"I'm feeling right now...like I'm in love with Brainy Smurf," Clumsy said with some difficulty.

"In love with Brainy Smurf?" Papa Smurf asked. "You mean that you love him as a friend, right?"

"Uh, not exactly like that, Papa Smurf," Clumsy answered. "I feel like I'm...well, the same way that I would feel for Smurfette...only..."

"Oh, that kind of feeling," Papa Smurf said, seeming to understand what Clumsy was trying to say. "Well, it's natural for a Smurf your age to feel as if you're confused over what you're attracted to as a male Smurf."

"It's natural for me to feel attracted to a male Smurf?" Clumsy asked.

"No, I don't mean it like that, Clumsy," Papa Smurf answered. "I mean, when you do have desires for a mate, you also have confusion over what you're supposed to be attracted to, even if it's for things that may not smurf you any good in the long run, such as being attracted to Brainy Smurf. It's just a phase that you're smurfing through, that's all."

"I'm just smurfing through a phase, Papa Smurf?" Clumsy said. "But what if this isn't just a phase? What's going to happen to me if I can't find a mate to smurf?"

"Mother Nature knows exactly what she's smurfing when she made you before you were born, Clumsy," Papa Smurf said. "I'm sure that one day you'll smurf over what you're feeling for Brainy Smurf and you'll be happy with whatever kind of life Mother Nature and Father Time will smurf you in the future."

"I don't know if I could feel happy, Papa Smurf," Clumsy said. "I told Brainy one time that I love him, but I haven't told him how I really feel for him. I don't even know what he would smurf of me if he knew."

"If Brainy is truly your friend, he would understand what it is you're feeling for him, but that doesn't mean that he will feel the same way towards you, Clumsy," Papa Smurf said. "For now, I would suggest that you be careful of smurfing the right time and place for you to tell him what you're feeling, so that neither of you would feel so awkward about sharing your feelings for each other."

"Uh, okay, Papa Smurf, I will try to smurf that," Clumsy said.

"We will still love you, Clumsy, regardless of how this situation smurfs out," Papa Smurf said as he watched Clumsy get up from his seat and head for the door.

At the same time that Clumsy was leaving, though, Brainy was just approaching Papa Smurf's laboratory. "Oh, hello there, Clumsy," he greeted. "What were you smurfing with Papa Smurf right about now?"

"Oh...nothing, Brainy," Clumsy answered rather nervously. "It was just about how I was feeling this morning."

"Clumsy Smurf, why are you acting as if you're trying to hide something from me?" Brainy asked as he looked at his friend with suspicion.

"Me, trying to hide something from you, Brainy?" Clumsy said. "I would never smurf that to you, because...we are friends, right?"

"Oh, never mind," Brainy said, dismissing the whole conversation. "I'm sure that it must be something that doesn't have anything to smurf with me, as usual. Now if you don't mind, I have something very important to talk to Papa Smurf about."

"Oh, sure, Brainy...I'm just going to smurf you later at the party, okay?" Clumsy said as he headed away from the door before Brainy knocked on it to get Papa Smurf's attention.

Clumsy sighed with relief as he walked away. "Now how am I going to tell Brainy the truth about how I feel for him? It's not going to be easy to just tell him that I'm in love with him or..."

"Hello there, Clumsy," Smurfette said as she passed by him, heading in the direction of the dining area, getting it all set up for the night's party.

"Oh, uh, hello there, Smurfette," Clumsy said. "I can't wait to smurf you a dance at the party."

"I'm sure that every Smurf in the village would want to dance with me tonight," Smurfette said. "It's not like I have another Smurfette my age around here that I can ever compete with."

"Yeah...there just isn't another Smurfette like you, Smurfette," Clumsy said, sounding rather uncomfortable.

"What's wrong, Clumsy?" Smurfette asked, sounding concerned. "You sound like there's something terrible on your mind that's making you feel so unsmurfy."

"Uh...I don't feel like talking about it to every Smurf, Smurfette," Clumsy said. "It's something that I would rather tell Papa Smurf and Brainy about, if you know what I mean."

Smurfette sighed. "I'm sorry, Clumsy. I shouldn't make you feel like you're being smurfed on the spot to tell me anything. I'm sure that it's something that you'll feel better about when you tell them in private."

"Yeah...that's what I'm smurfing to do sometime soon," Clumsy said as he looked down to the ground instead of directly at Smurfette.

"I'll smurf you later at the party when everything is ready, okay?" Smurfette said pleasantly before she continued on her way, leaving Clumsy feeling unsure of what to do with himself. - In the Land of Myth, Cupid was getting ready for his duty on Valentine's Day to spread love throughout the world. His daughter Charity was watching him as he put on his quiver of love arrows over his shoulder.

"When can I go with you to become a true cherub like you, Father?" Charity asked.

"Someday soon, when you are old enough to handle a bow like me, my child," Cupid answered. "Being a good cherub requires having the right kind of spirit and heart, not to mention a lot of practice in aiming, because you never know what you're going to hit with your arrows."

"Father, you never seem to have a problem with anything but getting your arrows to hit straight," Charity said.

"That comes with being an old cherub like me, youngster," Cupid said. "When you've been in the world spreading love to all creatures as I have been, you're going to end up making mistakes with age."

"But I feel more than ready to join with you now, Father," Charity said. "Besides, there's more to love than just getting creatures to be intimate with each other so they can have families. There's also an unconditional love that's just so pure that I feel that it needs to be shared."

"I'm sure that you'll get your chance to prove yourself as a cherub, my darling," Cupid said. "For now, I want to be good and keep yourself to your studies so that you'll know what to do when you are given your own set of love arrows."

"Okay, Father," Charity said. "I just want you to be careful when you are in the human's world."

"Don't worry about that, sweetie...I usually am careful," Cupid said, giving his daughter a kiss before he disappeared from sight in a poof of smoke.

Just then, Charity was joined by her father's friends Phileo and Xenia. "Charity, do you know where your father is right now?" Phileo asked.

"He just left a moment ago, Uncle Phileo," Charity answered. "Why, what's going on?"

"Oh dear, it is that dreadful rogue Eros," Xenia said, sounding fearful. "He's on the loose again."

"Eros?" Charity said, not knowing what they are talking about.

"He's a cherub whom we do not mention except as a caution to young cherubs-in-training, because all he wants to spread into the world is lust, my child," Phileo explained.

"He's really that dangerous?" Charity asked. "There's something that you can do about it, right?"

"This may be the time when you will have to join your father, to undo all the damage that Eros may cause with his evil lust arrows," Xenia said as she gave Charity her bow and quiver of arrows.

"Hey, this is great," Charity said, sounding pleased at first. "I mean, I didn't expect to be made a true cherub this soon in my life, but still..."

"We know that you'll do a good job as a cherub, sweetheart," Phileo said. "Now hurry and be on your way so that you can help your father defeat Eros' evil plan."

"I'll do my best, I promise you," Charity said after she put on the quiver of arrows. Soon she also disappeared from sight in a poof of smoke. - Back in the Smurf Village, Vanity was just stepping out of his house, looking at himself in the mirror. "Why, I would smurf a walk with you anywhere, you handsome devil," Vanity said to his reflection. "It's too bad that the rest of the village can't be as beautiful to smurf at as you."

He started on his way, not paying any attention to where he was going until he walked straight into Hefty. "Hey, watch where you're smurfing there, Vanity," Hefty said after they had bumped into each other and fell down.

"Oh, I'm very sorry," Vanity said as he picked himself and his mirror up from the ground. "I'm just too in love with myself to smurf any attention to where it is I'm smurfing."

"That's just the problem with you, Vanity...you're always in love with yourself," Hefty said. "In fact, you're so in love with yourself that I don't know if you're even a true Smurf."

"Why would I not be a true Smurf?" Vanity said. "After all, I have the same skin tone as you, which I think has a better complexion that yours. I also have the same blue eyes as you, though I don't think yours are anywhere as smurfy as mine. And I have the same physical build as yours, though mine is much slimmer than yours. And furthermore..."

"Oh, why do I even bother trying to smurf with you?" Hefty said, sounding rather frustrated. "It's not like you'll ever understand what it means to be a true Smurf anyway."

Vanity watched as Hefty walked away. "Well, some Smurfs just can't handle the criticism," he snorted. He then looked at himself in the mirror. "At least you're the only one around here who truly understands me. I'm sure that Hefty will get over how he's smurfing right now because he just can't smurf a candle to me."

Again Vanity continued to walk and pay no attention to where he was going until he walked straight into another Smurf...only this time it was Smurfette. "Oh, Vanity, you shouldn't be walking around smurfing at your mirror like that," Smurfette said after she and Vanity fell down.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Smurfette," Vanity said as he picked himself and his mirror up from the ground. "There's only so many hours in the day for me to smurf at myself that I need to smurf all the time I can get."

"But you are going to smurf a dance with me at tonight's party, aren't you?" Smurfette asked.

"Why, sure, Smurfette," Vanity answered. "I guarantee that you'll be dancing with the most handsome Smurf on the dance floor when I smurf the party in my latest suit."

"Oh, Vanity, you don't need to dress so fancy to impress me," Smurfette said. "I'll be happy to dance with you...and you...smurfing just the way you are right now."

"But really, Smurfette, you haven't smurfed the best of me until you see the suit that I'll be smurfing when I smurf you on the dance floor," Vanity said. "You're going to think that Vanity is a whole new Smurf."

"Well, if that's how you feel, then I'll be waiting to see you in your new fancy suit, Vanity," Smurfette said. "Enjoy the rest of the day...I'll be smurfing you later."

Vanity watched as Smurfette walked away. "Wow, what a dazzling Smurfette...uh, where was I...oh, yes, here I am," he said as he turned his attention back to his mirror. "Did you miss me, because I miss you, too. I'm sure that we can go somewhere that we won't be interrupted."

Vanity continued to walk and pay no attention to where he was going until he walked straight into another Smurf...only this time it was Clumsy. "Oops...sorry there, Vanity," Clumsy said after he and Vanity fell down together.

Vanity sighed. "With all this activity smurfing on, I'm never going to find somewhere that I can smurf with myself in peace."

"Well, at least you've got somebody to smurf to when you're all alone," Clumsy said, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Heavens to Smurfatroid, what seems to be wrong with you today?" Vanity asked, sounding concerned.

"Uh, it's something that I don't feel comfortable telling any Smurf about, but it's something that I feel for another Smurf that I wish that I could tell him about," Clumsy said.

"Are you saying that you're in love with another male Smurf?" Vanity asked.

"Shhh...I don't want the whole village to know about that," Clumsy said, trying to keep his voice low and also suggesting that Vanity did the same. "It's just that I love Smurfette...and I also love Brainy...but I don't know how to handle what I feel for the both of them."

"Well, why not just tell the both of them how you truly feel for each other?" Vanity asked.

"I just think the other Smurfs are going to laugh at me and tell me that I'm not a normal Smurf," Clumsy said.

"I don't think you're going to be happy with yourself until you finally admit to yourself who you really are and who you really love, like I have," Vanity said.

"Gee, you really think so?" Clumsy said, sounding taken by Vanity's heartfelt honesty.

"I would be the last Smurf who would ever tell you to smurf yourself as anything other than your true self, if that's how you honestly feel about Brainy and Smurfette," Vanity said.

"Gosh, what am I going to even say to them? How am I going to tell them how I really feel for either of them?" Clumsy asked, sounding very unsure of himself.

"Let's just say for the smurf of argument that I'm Brainy and that you want to tell me something important that you don't want the whole village to know about, Clumsy," Vanity said. "What would be the first thing on your mind to smurf to me?"

Clumsy thought about that for a minute. "Uh...Brainy, I've got something important on my mind that I need to smurf to you, which is how I feel towards you."

"Oh, Clumsy, what is so important on your mind that you need to smurf to me about?" Vanity asked, roleplaying as Brainy.

"Uh...it's just...well, I feel that...oh...gosh, I just can't do it, Vanity," Clumsy said as he stumbled over his own words. "I can't imagine you being Brainy when all I smurf before me is you."

Vanity sighed. "I don't know what else I can smurf for you, Clumsy. Try smurfing to yourself in the mirror and imagine what Brainy might say before you try smurfing to him in person."

"Oh, all right, Vanity, I'll try to smurf it that way," Clumsy said before he walked off.

Vanity watched Clumsy as he walked off, feeling his heart going out to him. "I just hope Clumsy won't be disappointed if Brainy doesn't feel for him the same way that he feels for Brainy," he said to his reflection before he continued on.