What's In A Hat?

"What's In A Hat?" is a mini-story that is part of the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series.

The Story
One day during Empath's first visit to the Smurf Village, he was walking around not wearing a Smurf hat. Most of his fellow Smurfs seemed shocked to see Empath not wearing a hat, but the Smurf who was the most offended of all was Brainy.

"Empath Smurf, don't you know that it's not proper for a Smurf to be seen not smurfing a hat on his head?" Brainy scolded.

Empath looked at Brainy rather puzzled. "This smurf does not see the significance of having to wear a hat anywhere in the village, fellow Brainy."

"A hat is part of what makes you and I a Smurf, Empath," Brainy said. "A Smurf without a hat just simply isn't a Smurf. It's been part of a time-honored tradition that Smurfs must always wear a hat, for it is part of a curse that has been placed on Smurfs."

"A curse that has been placed on Smurfs?" Empath said. "This smurf would like for you to elaborate on this matter, Brainy."

"You see, back in the early days of our Smurf ancestors, Smurfs could get by smurfing nothing at all, like our friend Nudie Smurf, and that was fine for our ancestors," Brainy said. "But then, Smurfs became ashamed of being seen smurfing without any clothes because of something they have smurfed back in the days when Smurfs were completely innocent of anything. So from that point on, Smurfs began to cover themselves -- first with loincloths and tunics, and then later with pants and dresses. But the Smurf's head has always remained bald and exposed, and as long as it was exposed, it also exposes his shame as a Smurf."

"This smurf wouldn't think that there would be anything for Smurfs to be ashamed about, least of all the fact that we are bald-headed," Empath said. "So how did the hat part come about?"

"Well, it is said that Mother Nature smurfed pity on the Smurfs because of their bald heads and made them a covering from a flower blossom that always seemed to droop at the top," Brainy said. "Soon Smurfs made similar coverings for themselves out of cloth, which also like the first coverings drooped at the top, so that's how Smurfs began to start smurfing hats on their heads."

"But this smurf has been so used to going about in Psychelia without needing to cover this smurf's head, Brainy," Empath said.

"If you're going to live among us as a Smurf, you're going to have to smurf to our customs, which include smurfing the hat which has become like a sacred symbol to us that some things about Smurfs should never be exposed," Brainy said.

Empath nodded as he began to realize it for himself. "You do have a point that this smurf should adhere to the Smurf culture's standard practice of wearing a Smurf hat, Brainy," he said. "This smurf did not mean to offend you by the action this smurf took in going about without wearing a hat."

"You might as well go and smurf yourself a hat while you can, Empath," Brainy advised. "Papa Smurf may not like to see you smurfing around without one."

Empath went back to his sleeping quarters and got his hat. He was just emerging from that location wearing his hat when he ran into Papa Smurf. "Hello there, Empath," Papa Smurf greeted. "Did you forget something today?"

"Brainy has informed this smurf about the importance of Smurfs wearing hats, which this smurf did not take heed to until now, after learning about the history of Smurfs wearing hats," Empath said.

"You'll smurf used to it in time, Empath, as every Smurf here does," Papa Smurf said. "When I was a young Smurfling your age, there were times when I would forget about smurfing my hat on...and sometimes I smurfed this on purpose."

"This smurf did not know that you would flagrantly disregard the demands of your own culture, Papa Smurf," Empath said.

"We were all young once, Empath, and with youth comes immaturity and a willingness to test the boundaries of our culture," Papa Smurf said. "But remember that it isn't what you wear on the outside that makes you a Smurf, but rather what you smurf on the inside that makes you one."

Empath nodded. "This smurf will try to remember that, Papa Smurf."