The Great Book Of Answers (story)/Part 2

"And so, Empath, news of the Great Book Of Answers smurfed like wildfire, just as I knew it would," Brainy told Empath. "They were all amazed when Greedy was able to smurf the perfect souffle that doesn't smurf, and Smurfette smurfed a formula for a lotion that makes her hair smurf all silky and shiny. Vanity smurfed a formula for smurfing a smurfy blue complexion that he was just dying to smurf out on himself. That, of course, led to a problem I smurfed with the book."

Empath watched as the Smurfs all crowded around Papa Smurf's laboratory, just waiting to use the Great Book Of Answers to ask whatever kind of question was on their mind. One Smurf wanted to ask why Smurfs have tails. Another Smurf wanted to find out how to have roses without thorns. Handy wanted to find out where the number 12 key was located. Poet wanted to find out what rhymes with "boom boom boom". And some Smurfs wanted to know where the word "smurf" came from.

"...and then, just when he wanted the smurf, but could not remember the word, he simply said, 'give me the smurf'," the Smurf read aloud from the book. He then turned to his partner with the same question. "So that's where the word smurfed from. We were never smurfed this before."

And then a fight erupted in the laboratory over who was going to use the book next. "ENOUGH!" Brainy shouted. "Smurf me the book!" He grabbed the book out of a Smurf's hand and hopped on top of a table.

"Hey, just what do you think you're smurfing, Brainy?" one of the Smurfs asked, sounding angry.

"You're all acting like a bunch of smurfs," Brainy said. "None of you are worthy of this book, so from now on, I will be in charge of it."

"Oh, no, you're not, Brainy," another Smurf said. "Smurf that book to us right now!" And the mob proceeded to grab at Brainy's legs to pull him off the table.

"Back away!" Brainy shouted, trying to get the crowd under control. Then he hit the Smurfs closest to the table in the heads with the book. "I SAID BACK-A-WAY!" He looked at the book and saw that there was now a small dent in its cover. "It figures that they would end up damaging it!"

Still the Smurfs were angry and demanding for Brainy to get off the table and give up the book. This continued until Hefty came into the laboratory, pushing his way through the crowd of Smurfs. "Say, what's all this ruckus about in here?" Hefty asked.

"It's Brainy," one of the Smurfs said. "He won't let us smurf the book, Hefty. He smurfed it from us and he won't smurf it back."

"They're all acting like wild Smurfs, Hefty," Brainy said. "They'll be smurfing the pages off this book. I was just trying to keep them from smurfing that for their own good."

Hefty thought about for a moment. "You know, Brainy is right," he said. "If we're all going to smurf the book for our questions, then we need to get organized and smurf a line. Brainy will smurf the book and make sure that it doesn't get all smurfed up."

"Exactly my thoughts on the subject," Brainy said. "I for one couldn't agree more on this solution."

"Well, we might as well smurf into a line," one of the Smurfs said as the crowd accepted the solution and formed a line that went outside the laboratory. "Uh, Hefty, you need to smurf in line like the rest of us, because I was here first."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm the one who smurfed up with the solution, so I'm smurfing first...unless you want to smurf a few words with me about it," Hefty said, showing that Smurf his fist and causing him to relent. "Now, then, I smurfed all the ingredients so far for the formula of this strength ointment, but I need to know where I can smurf the mandrake roots," he said to the Great Book Of Answers as Brainy opened to the front page.

"I cannot answer your question right now," the book said. "I need to recharge my energy."

"Now you've done it, Smurfs," Brainy said as he closed up the book in disgust. "You've exhausted it with all your smurfy questions!"

"A magic book that needs to rest?" one of the Smurfs said. "I never smurfed of this before."

"Me neither, but it's still a magic book," Hefty said.

Suddenly the dinner bell rang from Greedy's kitchen. "Come and smurf it," he shouted. "The souffle is ready to smurf!"

This made most of the Smurfs leave the laboratory as they responded to the dinner bell and headed for the dining hall. Brainy felt relieved that his fellow Smurfs were responding to the call of their stomachs. He placed the book on the lectern and began to pace around the laboratory to think.

"They smurf such an exceptional book and use it to ask a lot of smurfy questions," Brainy said to himself. "Once it's recharged, they'll smurf back to it and exhaust it again. It's going to take a sensible and responsible Smurf to be in charge of the book so it doesn't get misused." Then it dawned on him. "Of course. I'll have to smurf the book with me and be that Smurf in charge of it."

He then left the laboratory and headed for his house, passing by the dining hall and watching the Smurfs enjoying their meal. Clumsy spotted Brainy on his way. "Uh, Brainy, aren't you going to smurf out this souffle that Greedy smurfed?" he asked. "It's really smurfy!"

"You go feed your stomach, Clumsy, while I am going to feed my brain," Brainy said, dismissing his friend before he asked anymore questions.

"Oh, sure thing, Brainy," Clumsy said. "I just hope your brain smurfs a good meal."

Brainy slightly chuckled at that comment before he continued to his house and entered it. "Now I just need to smurf this book in a safe place so it can rest while I make sure that it does smurf a rest," he said as he went up into his bedroom and placed the book on his bed, leaving it opened to the front page. He then sat in the chair next to the bed and let out a great big sigh of relief. "It just isn't easy to be the Smurf in charge of anything in this village." - Empath watched as the Smurfs in the dining hall now left it, feeling satisfied with their meal.

"I never smurfed a souffle like that before," Handy said, patting his stomach. "Now I know that this book must be magical if Greedy is able to smurf that up."

"Let's go smurf if we could use the book again to ask questions," another Smurf said.

"Yeah," Nabby said, clutching his stomach and feeling the pain from it. "I need to ask what it can smurf for a smurfed stomach."

While Smurfette was busy showing Greedy her silky and shiny hair, the other Smurfs headed back to Papa Smurf's laboratory where they noticed something by the time they got there. "Hey, the book isn't here anymore," Hefty said. "And neither is Brainy."

"Uh, Smurfs, I just smurfed Brainy smurfing to his house with the book when we were smurfing the souffle," Clumsy said. "He said that he was going to smurf his brain while we smurf our stomachs."

"He did, eh?" Hefty said. "Well, he's going to smurf an upset brain when I smurf my hands on him!"

"Yeah, that phony Smurf," Tuffy said. "Smurf that book away from us behind our backs while we were smurfing! Who does he smurf he is?"

"Now, let's not get our knickers in a smurf, laddies," Duncan McSmurf said. "Let's just smurf to Brainy's house and ask him if we could smurf the book like civilized Smurfs."

"We'll be civilized, all right, Duncan...when Brainy gets smurfed on his head after we smurf him on a short flight," Handy said, as the Smurfs now headed for Brainy's house. - Meanwhile, Brainy was still sitting in his bedroom with the book laid out on his bed. "That book is just so wonderful," he said to himself. "I could only wonder why Papa Smurf would smurf such a book hidden from all the other Smurfs, including myself, his faithful assistant."

"The reason Papa Smurf keeps this book hidden from other Smurfs: see Page 112," the book said.

"Oh, the book awakens!" Brainy said excitedly. He then picked it up and turned to the mentioned page. "'Knowledge is power, and Papa Smurf knows a lot. But I know everything'," he read aloud from the text appearing on the page. That got Brainy thinking. "Of course! Why didn't I think of it? If Papa Smurf is the only Smurf in the village we can smurf to for our answers, then having the Great Book Of Answers to answer all our questions means that we can smurf on without him. It must be really humbling for Papa Smurf to know that this book smurfs more wisdom and knowledge than he does."

Then Brainy heard pounding on his door, and some angry voices outside his house. He looked from his bedroom window and saw that his fellow Smurfs were gathered around his house.

"Hey, Brainy, we know that you're smurfing the book, and we want to use it to ask questions, so open up and let us smurf it," Hefty shouted. And a few other Smurfs also said the same thing.

"Absosmurfly not," Brainy said from the window. "From now on, I, Brainy Smurf, will be in charge of who will smurf the book and when it will be smurfed. So begone from my house right this instant." He then turned away from the window and closed the shutters.

"Well, that smurfed over very well," Duncan said.

"My dear fellow Smurfs," Poet said, now standing on top of a barrel to get everyone's attention, "this is an insmurferable abuse. The Great Book Of Answers is for everyone to smurf whenever and however they want to. We need to liberate this book from the tyrannical grip of Brainy Smurf so that we will be able to smurf it in a smurfocratic manner."

"Yeah, what Poet Smurf said," Tuffy said in agreement.

"I couldn't have smurfed it any better," Handy said, seconding the emotion.

"Enough smurfing," Hefty said. "It's time for action. In the name of all Smurfkind, I will smurf through that door and smurf the book away from Brainy."

Nearly every Smurf present at Brainy's house encouraged Hefty to go for it. So he charged straight toward the door at full speed. The Smurfs watching cringed as there was a crash, but it wasn't the door giving in. It was Hefty collapsing as he was unable to use his strength to break it down. "I really need...that ointment...to smurf me...more muscle," he muttered.

"Don't worry about it, Hefty," Handy said as he and Tuffy helped that Smurf to his feet. "We'll smurf through the door with a battering smurf."

Brainy heard the commotion outside followed by Hefty's failed attempt to break through the door. "Those Smurfs are coming to smurf their hands on the book," he said to himself. He then turned to the front page of the book. "Only you, the Great Book Of Answers, can help me now. I need to know how I can be the only Smurf will be able to smurf the book."

"How to prevent others from using this book: see Page 88," the book said.

Brainy then turned to the page. "It says to smurf the magic words: 'Remember who I am and answer only to me'," he read aloud. "Is that all I need to smurf? Clever!" He then heard a loud pound on the door as the Smurfs outside the house are now using a battering ram. "Quick! The others are going to smurf in!"

The Smurfs with the battering ram see that the door to Brainy's house was starting to give in. "This time we'll smurf it for sure," Handy said as they prepared for another run.

"CHARGE!" Hefty shouted, and the Smurfs charged straight at the door with the battering ram, hoping they will break through this time.

Then suddenly the door opened, and Brainy stood by it off to the side, watching as his fellow Smurfs passed through with the battering ram and crashed right into a wall. "You Smurfs want to use the book now? Here!" he said as he casually offered the book for them to take.

The Smurfs with the battering ram picked themselves off the floor, glad to see that the situation is now resolved. "It's about time you smurfed the book up, Brainy," Hefty said, snatching it away from his friend. "This would have smurfed very painfully for you in the end."

"Naturally," Brainy said nonchalantly as he watched his fellow Smurfs leave the house.

The Smurfs were so glad to get the book from Brainy, they were eager to start using it. "I'll smurf first," Hefty said. "I need to know where I can smurf the mandrake roots." He opened the book to the front page.

"Please identify yourself," the book said.

"Now what's with the book?" Hefty asked, stunned. "It never smurfed this before."

"Go ahead. Smurf the book who you are, Hefty," Handy said.

"Uh...I am Hefty Smurf," he said to the book.

"Sorry! Access is denied!" the book responded.

"Well, how do you like that!" Hefty said with some disgust. "Now the book doesn't want to answer our questions!"

"Let me smurf it a try," Handy said. He then took the book and turned it to the front page, where he was asked to identify himself. "I am Handy Smurf."

"Sorry! Access is denied!" the book responded.

Handy sighed. "I can't get it to smurf for me, either."

"Maybe this needs a Smurfette's touch," Smurfette offered. She then took the book and turned it to front page, where she was asked to identify herself. "Hello, lovely book. I am Smurfette," she said in a sweet gentle voice.

"Sorry! Access is denied!" the book responded.

"Oh, smurf it all!" Smurfette snarled. "You're a mean and nasty book!"

"Having a little trouble smurfing any questions with the book?" Brainy said, watching their attempts from the door of his house. "Let me smurf it so I can smurf you why." His fellow Smurfs handed Brainy the book, who then turned it to the front page.

"Please identify yourself," the book said.

"I am Brainy Smurf," he said.

"You can ask your question," the book said.

"Thank you, Great Book Of Answers, but I don't need to use you right now," Brainy said before he closed the book. "You see, my fellow Smurfs, I have smurfed the book so that I, Brainy Smurf, am the only Smurf that the book answers to, so that means I'm still in charge of the book." He then went back into his house with the book.

Empath could see that the other Smurfs didn't like this arrangement. "This time he's smurfed too far," Tuffy said.

"We're at the mercy of Brainy Smurf now," Handy said, agreeing with the sentiment.

"Not unless we can find a way to smurf the book away from him," Hefty said.

"Hey, I think I know of a way," Jokey said as he overheard the conversation. He then went into Brainy's house. "Would you mind if I borrowed the book as well as your glasses?" he asked.

Brainy wondered what Jokey would need the glasses for. "Uh, if that's what you want," he responded as he handed over the book and the glasses.

Jokey placed Brainy's glasses on his face as he opened the book to the front page. "Please identify yourself," the book said.

"Uh...I am Brainy Smurf," Jokey said in his best imitation of Brainy's voice.

"Sorry! Access is denied!" the book said.

"Huh? No way!" Jokey exclaimed.

Brainy laughed. "Nice try, Jokey Smurf. Now smurf me back the book...and my glasses." He then got both items back as Jokey left the house, with Brainy standing at the door to address his fellow Smurfs. "Do not mourn, my fellow Smurfs, for I, Brainy Smurf, am quite generous. I will let you all smurf access to the book...provided, of course, that you behave yourselves." He went over to Greedy. "But now I am hungry. Is there any more souffle left over from the meal?"

"Sorry, Brainy, they have smurfed it all up," Greedy said. Then after a pause, he added. "However, I can smurf up another souffle that is just for you."

"Oh, thank you, Greedy Smurf. That is so smurfy of you," Brainy said, smiling as he followed Greedy to the kitchen.

This made Greedy's fellow Smurfs rather disgusted. "Brown smurfer!" Hefty called out.

"You'd smurf his feet just to get a smurf of the book, Greedy," Handy accused.

"Have you no shame?" Jokey said.

"I hate brown smurfers," Grouchy grumbled as they watched Brainy walk off rather smugly. - "So now this Great Book Of Answers can only be used if it identifies you?" Empath asked. "This smurf doesn't know whether to call it an ingenious idea or just plain selfish."

"You can smurf it what you want, Empath," Brainy said. "I for one wanted to make sure that if the Smurfs were going to smurf the book properly, then they needed to smurf it with a Smurf who was capable of making sure it was being smurfed properly. Smurfing the book so that it now only answered to me was only the start."

"This smurf senses that your intentions with the book were noble...at least from what this smurf has seen so far," Empath said.

"Oh, Empath, that just wounds me," Brainy said, sounding like he was hurt. "How could you ever suspect that I would smurf anything but be noble with such a powerful book?"

"Let's just see what happens next," Empath said. And then he saw Brainy get up from his meal, thanking Greedy for its creation, while Greedy in turn was thanking Brainy for letting him use the book to get another recipe to use. He walked out of Greedy's kitchen and found a few Smurfs waiting there to use the book. He told them that he would let them use it later because he was going to take a walk into the forest.

Brainy went to the waterfall with the book to sit and think. "They're not going to let me go," he said to himself. "They'll be smurfing at my windows day and night just for wanting to smurf the book to ask their questions. I need to smurf someplace where I will smurf some solitude and still let them be able to smurf the book." He then looked at the book. "Maybe the Great Book Of Answers can smurf me a good place."

He opened the book and turned to the front page. "Please identify yourself," the book said.

"It's me, your humble and wise guardian Smurf," Brainy said.

"Sorry! Your access is denied!" the book responded.

Brainy was a little put off by the response. "Okay, then, I'm Brainy Smurf. Don't you recognize me?"

"Yes, I do, but that's not a reason to just say anything," the book said. "You may now ask your question."

Brainy asked the book for a good location where he could find solitude and yet still allow the Smurfs to have access to the book. It gave him directions to an old tower in the forest, which he followed until he saw it for himself.

"Yes! This is perfect!" Brainy said, kissing the book's cover. He went over to the tower's front door and pushed on it to open, only to see the door fall off its hinges. He then looked inside and saw that the tower had fallen into disrepair. "It smurfs like it's going to need a smurfer-upper job...and I know just the Smurf who can smurf the smurfer-upper in this place."

Empath watched as Brainy returned to the village to ask Handy for his help in exchange for his using the book. Soon a few Smurfs watched as Handy carted a load of wooden planks to the old tower outside the village. Although they were rather disgusted that Handy would become Brainy's slave, they too felt as if they would do anything to be able to use the book again, and so offered their help in fixing up the old tower.

Hefty, being one of the Smurfs watching the others go off to help fix up the tower, was paid a casual visit by Brainy. "So, have you smurfed all the ingredients for your strength ointment yet, Hefty?" he asked.

"Almost everything, Brainy," Hefty said. "I still need to find the mandrake roots, and I don't know where they smurf."

"Oh, I'm sure that the Great Book Of Answers can help you out," Brainy said, showing him the book. "And I'd be willing to let you smurf it."

"Really?" Hefty asked. "There isn't a catch to this, is there?"

"Not at all, Hefty," Brainy said in his reassuring voice. "Let's just smurf inside and talk about this." The two Smurfs then went inside Hefty's house. "What I would need, after you smurf up your strength ointment, is help smurfing all my heavy furniture to my new residence. After all, with the increased strength you'll be smurfing, that work will be child's play to you."

"That's it?" Hefty said. "Well, why not! Might as well try out my new strength on something."

Brainy smiled. "I knew that I can count on you, Hefty." - And soon, as Empath watched, the renovations for the old tower were underway. Handy and a few Smurfs were rebuilding the staircase, fixing the windows and doors, and caulking up the cracks in the tower wall. Brainy came and inspected their work from time to time, making sure that it has met his approval.

Architect came by a few days later to offer some advice. "You know, Brainy, such a place like this would require for you to smurf the book in a clean, warm, and dry place. So I may suggest that, for the room in the loft, you'll need to smurf a lot of curtains."

"A brilliant suggestion, Architect," Brainy said approvingly. "Handy, we're going to need to smurf a lot of drapery for the room with the book."

"I can ask Tailor to smurf me cloth, and maybe some Smurfs would be willing to smurf me bedsheets," Handy responded.

"Make sure you smurf that, Handy," Brainy said. "And now I'm going to need a Smurf who will help me with the consultations."

"Consultations?" Clumsy said, curious. "What do you mean?"

"You see, Clumsy, all you'll need to do is smurf them in one at a time and smurf them up the stairs so that they can ask their questions to the book," Brainy explained.

"Golly, that sounds simple enough," Clumsy said. "You can count on me to smurf that job."

Handy then went into the village to get the drapery. Tailor offered as much cloth as he could from his workshop. Then the village builder went to Smurfette's house and knocked on her door.

"Just a minute...I'm smurfing my hair," Smurfette responded before she opened the door.

"Your hair looks really smurfy today, Smurfette," Handy said, feeling his heart beating faster when he saw her. "Anyway, I'm here to ask if you have any bedsheets that you can smurf for the old tower. Brainy says he needs it for the room with the Great Book Of Answers."

"Oh, certainly," Smurfette said pleasantly. "I'm glad you like my hair. The lotion smurfs it all silky and shiny." She went inside her house to get the spare bedsheets.

Meanwhile, Vanity passed by Smurfette's house. "Say, Handy, do you notice anything different about my face?" he asked, pointing toward it.

Handy saw something different. "Well, it's smurfing off such a glow," he responded, sounding disinterested.

"It's the formula for the mask that I smurfed from the Great Book Of Answers," Vanity explained. "Now I will always have a smurfy blue complexion."

"I'm smurfy that you're smurfy about it, Vanity," Handy said as he got the bedsheets from Smurfette and thanked her for the donation. As he headed for the tower with the drapery, he saw Hefty carrying a heavy bed all by himself.

"Hey, Hefty, aren't you going to need a hand with that?" Handy asked.

"Thanks for asking, but with this strength ointment from the Great Book Of Answers, I feel stronger than ever," Hefty said proudly.

And then finally, as Empath watched, the renovations were complete. Brainy looked out of the window from the highest point in the tower to address the Smurfs gathered below. "My fellow Smurfs, I am indeed happy for all the hard work you have smurfed into resmurfing this old tower. As you all know, I happen to be a Smurf of simple taste. As a token of my gratitude, I, Brainy Smurf, will allow you all to smurf here starting tomorrow morning so that you'll be able to smurf the book to answer all your questions."

This made the Smurfs outside the tower cheer. "HURRAY! LONG LIVE BRAINY SMURF!"

"Hey, now, let's not smurf too excited here!" Hefty said.

"I hate smurfing too excited!" Grouchy said.