Vanity's Double/Part 6

Then at that moment, Tapper had entered Biscotti's bakery in the middle of the story's telling. "Smurf 'o the morning to you, lads," he greeted.

"If it isn't my favorite customer, the Irish Smurf," Biscotti said. "We were just smurfing about you."

"Then it must be something important that I should be the Smurf of your discussions," Tapper said. "A fresh croissant and an acorn brew with cream and sugar, if you please."

"Smurfing right up, Tapper," Biscotti said, getting the things for his customer.

Tapper then turned to Empath. "I see that you're smurfing Tailor's new outfit that he smurfed you for your smurfday. How does it feel to be the smurf of attention wearing it?"

"It's a little embarrassing that this smurf should be the center of attention, whether it's wearing these new clothes or something else, but this smurf truly feels like a whole new Smurf in this outfit, Tapper," Empath said.

"You'll surely be the envy of your fellow Smurfs, no doubt," Tapper said, who then received his croissant and acorn brew.

"Vanity and Century were entertaining this smurf with the story of how Century became part of the village, which is how you became part of the discussion," Empath explained.

"Yes, and we were just smurfing to the best part right about now, Tapper," Century said.

"Have you?" Tapper said, sounding interested. "Then I'm sure you won't mind if I helped smurf in the details, particularly about the Robin Smurf play that smurfed place around that time."

"So what happened on the day of the play, Tapper?" Empath asked.

"Every Smurf was gathered around the Smurf Theater for the big event, Empath," Tapper said. "I was smurfing refreshments for the Smurfs to enjoy and Gelato was smurfing the snacks, and Editor was smurfing out programs printed by Printer for every Smurf attending the event. I got a smurf backstage of Century smurfing up in his Robin Smurf costume, and I was surprised to find how much he looked like Vanity because Tailor smurfed Century's costume to be identical to that of Vanity's so no Smurf would know which Smurf was which as Robin Smurf. All the actors were smurfing their best in their costumes, including Smurfette as the lovely Maid Marian, who just smurfed my heart away when I smurfed her. Papa Smurf was consmurfing the orchestra to play music for the production, and everything was all smurfed when Brainy smurfed the stage to smurf the introduction."

Empath then saw in Tapper's recollection of the event the Smurfs all gathered around the Smurf Theater as Brainy in his Prince John costume was making the introduction. "Fellow Smurfs, the Smurf Players are proud to present 'The Amazing Adventures Of Robin Smurf And His Merry Smurfs'," he began, which made the Smurfs in the audience cheer before he continued on. "Thanks to my brilliant directorial abilities, this will be the smurfiest play ever."

"Let's smurf on with the show, M'sieu Brainy," Painter called out.

"In fact, I'm probably the greatest director in the history of the world," Brainy continued amidst cries from the audience telling him to get off the stage. "Not to mention that I'm also a very gifted actor who happens to be so talented that I can hardly believe it myself. In fact, I don't think that genius is even too strong of a word to describe the talent that I smurf to this production..."

The rest of Brainy's introduction was cut short when he was yanked off the stage by a crook, before the curtains parted and the scene opened to Tracker, Lazy, and Sloppy inside the guard room of Prince John's castle. Lazy was busy sleeping on the table when the door to the room was kicked open and Brainy as Prince John stepped inside.

Lazy instantly woke up. "Oh, hi, your Lordship," he greeted.

"Well, did you fools collect the taxes from the surf Smurfs today?" Prince John demanded.

"Well, actually...," Lazy started to answer.

"They were all stolen by Robin Smurf," Tracker said.

"Robin Smurf? ROBIN SMURF?!?" Prince John shouted, pounding his fist on the table and knocking it down. "That's all that I hear from you smurfcompoops. Maid Marian, smurf in here right now."

Just then, Smurfette as Maid Marian had entered the scene, amidst whistles and catcalls from the audience. Smurfette responded by simply waving to the audience.

"Maid Marian, I need a really smurfy plan to defeat that no-good robber Robin Smurf once and for all," Prince John said. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"Well, Prince John, you're going to need the most brilliant, ruthless, and feared Smurf in all of Smurfingham," Maid Marian answered.

"You're right," Prince John said. "We will need the Sheriff of Smurfingham. Sheriff, smurf in here."

"I'm coming, Brainy...I mean, your Princeship," Clumsy as the Sheriff said as he made his appearance on stage. He tried to enter through the door, but instead bumped into it, knocking down the backdrops on the stage.

Every Smurf laughed at the pratfall as Handy came on stage to set the backdrops back up. "There! Now it's like a real castle!" he said before he left the stage.

Century rolled his eyes as he watched from the sidelines. "Oh, this is so painful to watch," he said, rubbing his forehead at the sight.

"Sheriff, you are the key in my plan to defeat Robin Smurf," Prince John continued. He then turned to Maid Marian. "What is my plan to defeat Robin Smurf?" he whispered.

"You will need lots of smurfberries," Maid Marian whispered back.

Prince John nodded. "Yes, lots of smurfberries! Follow me, men!" The scene then changed to another part of the castle. "In this room are all the taxes that I have ruthlessly collected from every peasant Smurf in the smurfdom." He opened the door barred with a single wooden plank to reveal that the room was empty except for one bag of smurfberries. "That wretched Robin Smurf has managed to smurf the rest of it and smurf it to the poor." He stuck out his tongue at the mention of the poor. "Sheriff, your job is to, uh..." He then whispered to Maid Marian, "What is his job?"

"To put on a disguise, and then smurf out into Smurfwood Forest with the berries," Maid Marian whispered back.

"Yes, you must put on a disguise, then smurf out into Smurfwood Forest with the smurfberries," Prince John said aloud to the Sheriff, handing the bag over to him. The Prince turned to Maid Marian again. "And then what?" he whispered.

"Get Robin Smurf to attack you so that you can capture him yourself," Maid Marian whispered back.

Prince John nodded. "With these berries, we'll smurf Robin Smurf to attack you that you will capture him, Sheriff," he said. "And I will smurf guards out into the forest to accompany you, to make sure this plan does not fail. Is that understood, fools?"

"Gee, I'd love to do that, but I have to smurf care of Fly," Sloppy said.

"And I've got a nap scheduled," Lazy said.

"I'm sure that the chap will smurf care of things by himself," Tracker said.

"If you three don't accompany him, I will have you all smurfed into the dungeon," Prince John said.

All three of the guards gulped. "Well, when smurf it that way...," Sloppy said.

"We'll make sure the plan does not fail, won't we?" Tracker said.

"Yeah, who needs a nap?" Lazy said.

Prince John smiled. "I'm glad that you can smurf things my way for once."

The curtain closed, and the scene changed to that of being in Smurfwood Forest, with Robin Smurf and his Merry Smurfs at their camp. Century still watched from the sidelines off stage while his "brother" Vanity took his place on stage as the main star. He wanted so much to be on the stage at that moment, but he knew that his moment would come. He had to be patient and watch for that moment to come.

A few Smurfs dressed as minstrels played a song as they went through the camp, with the other Smurfs tightening up their bows. Hefty appeared on stage as Little John to offer encouragement to the Merry Smurfs.

"You're all a bunch of fine lads," he said, patting the two minstrels on the back. One of them had his mandolin knocked out of his hands, which went flying into a tent, hitting a Smurf in the head.

"Ouch! Be careful with that thing!" Robin Smurf said, emerging from the tent. "You don't want to damage such a smurf of beauty."

He took at his reflection in the mirror when he heard a voice crying out his name. It was Maid Marian, appearing on the scene riding on the back of a frog.

"Oh, Maid Marian, you smurf abosmurfly ravishing...almost as ravishing as myself," Robin Smurf said in greeting her.

"Robin Smurf, the Sheriff of Smurfingham is smurfing this way," Maid Marian said. "He's going to trick you into smurfing him with a bag of smurfberries!"

"The Sheriff of Smurfingham...tricking me?" Robin Smurf said with some disbelief in his voice. His Merry Smurfs also laughed with him, with the exception of Little John.

"Robin, I see the Sheriff smurfing," Little John said as he stood on top of a rock.

"Quick, Merry Smurfs, into position," Robin Smurf said as he and his band of Smurfs prepared to deal with the Sheriff.

Century still watched from the sidelines, as Vanity and the Smurfs on stage prepared for the encounter with the Sheriff of Smurfingham and his three guards. Vanity, Hefty, and Smurfette perched themselves upon a tree branch and waited for the four Smurfs to arrive on frogback, disguised as travelers. Century noticed that the feather in Vanity's hat was tickling Smurfette's nose, making her almost ready to sneeze when Vanity kept her from doing so.

Then Robin Smurf hopped down from the tree to intercept the four disguised Smurfs. "Greetings, nasty knaves," he said.

"Oh no! It's Robin Smurf!" the four disguised Smurfs cried out.

"Smurf over your smurfberries and I promise you you won't get hurt," Robin Smurf demanded.

"You'll have to smurf it from us, Robin Smurf," the guards said as they removed their disguises and drew their swords, hopping down from their mounts in order to engage him in combat. Clumsy tried to remove his disguise, but only succeeded in falling off his mount.

"Well, if that's how you want it, then I can offer you this," Robin Smurf said. He then whistled for his Merry Smurfs to come out of hiding, armed with swords and bows. The guards realized that they were outnumbered and threw down their swords in surrender.

Smurfette finally sneezed and fell off the branch, landing on one of the frogs who then hopped away...far away from the stage. "Help! Smurf me!" she cried out.

"Don't worry, Maid Marian, Robin Smurf is coming to rescue you," Vanity said as he raced off the stage.

Century was already one step ahead of Vanity. He hopped onto the back of a frog that was off-stage and chased after the runaway frog with Smurfette still on it, hopping its way out of the village. He got as close to Smurfette's frog as possible, and then leaped onto Smurfette's frog, grabbed her, and leaped onto a high enough branch while still holding her.

"Oh, thanks, Robin Smurf...I mean, Century," Smurfette said, smiling. "That was one real performance you have smurfed."

"Let's smurf you back to the show before the others notice," Century said as they leaped back down onto his frog and hopped back to the stage, with Vanity taking Smurfette with him before the audience who clapped for the safe return and rescue.

Poet and Narrator noticed Century's actions. "I'm glad you rescued the star before she was gone too far from the village, Century," Narrator said.

"If only the others could see you smurf the rescue," Poet said. "What an exciting scene that would have smurfed."

Century sighed, sounding a bit sad. "Yes...if only the others could have seen that." - Empath sighed himself as he watched the whole scene unfold in the retelling. "This smurf can understand how disappointing it must feel for you to perform a heroic action that most of the other Smurfs wouldn't notice," he said to Century.

"I really wanted that to be my starring moment on stage, Empath," Century said. "Instead, I just simply rescued Smurfette."

"And you would have smurfed it again even if it weren't for a production or any other kind of reward, Century," Tapper said.

"I didn't smurf at the time how I would have, Tapper," Century said.

"You have the kind of spirit that your brother lacks, which is what this smurf is sensing in you, and Tapper could probably sense that as well," Empath said. "You care more for Smurfette's safety than you do for your own self. You're not as vain as he is...no offense, Vanity."

Vanity snorted. "That's certainly being sensitive about a personal issue, Empath."

"So what else happened while the play was still being shown, Century?" Empath asked.

"I only got to smurf some fill-ins for Vanity, such as parts when he had to smurf arrows into a target, since I had been such a natural with the bow and arrow during Archer's training sessions," Century answered. "Brainy had no idea which one of us was Vanity or Century, though, and neither did the audience, so everyone just assumed that it was Vanity all along. Only Poet and Narrator knew which one of us was which. And then came a part near of the play which became my major starring role."

As Empath watched through the theater of Century's memories, he now saw that the story had reached the part where Prince John had put Maid Marian in the tower for helping Robin Smurf escape, and Robin Smurf was informed by the peasant Smurfs about this treacherous act. Prince John is in the dining chamber with the Sheriff and his guards to outline his plan for the kingdom.

"Now that I have divided the smurfdom in half, I shall tax one half of it ruthlessly and the other half mercilessly," Prince John said, using a chart to illustrate his plan. "By the time my brother King Richard returns, I shall declare myself as king."

"But what shall we smurf with Robin Smurf and his Merry Smurfs?" Tracker said.

"With the taxes I have collected, I shall hire a band of barbarians from the north, which shall help us smurf with those who dare to rebel against us once and for all," Prince John said. "I'm just hoping Robin Smurf will lead his Merry Smurfs into a smurfless battle with such a horde, because that will be the last anyone will ever smurf of that no-good robber."

"Good show, your Lordship," Tracker said.

"Yeah, down with Robin Smurf," Lazy said.

"Long live King Brainy...I mean, King John," Clumsy said.

Just then, Robin Smurf flew into the room through the window when Harmony catapulted him by using a tree. "Greetings, you miserable knaves," Robin Smurf announced. "Your plans to take over the smurfdom will be foiled."

"It's Robin Smurf," Prince John shouted. "Sheriff! Guards! Smurf him!"

All four Smurfs drew their swords, with Clumsy as the Sheriff accidentally dropping his pants when he drew his. He hastily pulled them back up.

"You might as well give up," Prince John sneered. "We outnumber you five to one."

"Not for long, Prince John," Robin Smurf said. He let out a whistle, and soon several Merry Smurfs came flying into the room through another window. One landed on a table and caused food to fly off it, which Greedy as Friar Tuck speared with his sword.

"Mmmm, I must be in heaven," Friar Tuck said as he ate the food.

"So can I get a recount and see how many Smurfs I have?" Robin Smurf said, sounding confident.

Tracker counted the Merry Smurfs. "It's ten against five?!?" he stammered in fear.

The Sheriff and the guards tossed away their swords. "Smurfs like we're the ones who are outnumbered," Lazy said.

"Uh, how about you smurf us some of your guys?" the Sheriff asked.

"Cowards!" Prince John fumed. "No Smurf's going to stop me!" He raced out of the room and headed for the tower prison.

"Okay, Merry Smurfs, you tie them up while I smurf care of heroic matters," Robin Smurf said.

As Brainy raced off the set to grab Smurfette and the scene changed to the battlements of the castle walls, Vanity went off-stage in the other direction. "That's your cue, Century," Poet said. "Get ready."

"Oh, I'm ready for anything," Century said, waiting for Brainy to return to the scene.

Prince John was now running along the battlements, with Maid Marian crying out for help as she was being dragged along, when he ran right into Robin Smurf. "Unhand that fair maiden, you smurfy knave, before I smurf you a taste of my blade," he boldly announced.

"Robin Smurf!" Maid Marian gasped.

"Never, Robin Smurf!" Prince John said. "You'll have to fight me in order to smurf her from me."

"Don't say that I didn't warn you," Robin Smurf said. And soon they both swung their swords at each other, with Robin fighting very offensively and Prince John very defensively. In fact, the Smurf playing Robin was fighting too offensively for Brainy's liking.

"Vanity doesn't fight like this," Brainy wondered. "Could this be...naaah, it couldn't be..."

The swordfight lasted for a total of five minutes as Brainy tried to give as good as he got, but he only barely managed to hold out as long as he did against the Smurf playing Robin Smurf.

Then finally Jokey appeared on the scene as King Richard. He helped launch Harmony into the air, and he went flying over the castle walls and tackled Brainy until the both of them flew right off the stage.

Maid Marian watched as the two Smurfs flew right past her, and then she looked and saw Robin Smurf looking every bit as confident as he was when she was rescued from a runaway frog. She threw herself right into Robin Smurf's arms, feeling relieved.

And then the scene changed again, with Maid Marian now standing beside Vanity as Robin Smurf, who is being congratulated by King Richard for protecting his kingdom while he was gone.

"Oh, well, it's the least that I can do," Robin Smurf said.

"Oh, Robin Smurf, you were just wondersmurf," Maid Marian said as she gave Robin Smurf a kiss and the Merry Smurfs and peasants cheered.

"You know what's smurfier than a kiss from you?" Robin Smurf said. "It's a kiss from me."

"Really?" Maid Marian said. "Oh, you say the smurfiest things." She leaned her face toward Robin Smurf, hoping that he would kiss her in return, but she saw that he ended up kissing his own reflection in the mirror, which made the other Smurfs laugh.

And as the orchestra played and the curtains closed, the audience cheered for the ending. The Smurf Players actors came out onto the stage together for one last bow before the audience -- all except for Century, though, who was kept off-stage to keep the other Smurfs from knowing there were two Smurfs playing Robin Smurf.

Then Brainy came back on stage one last time for his closing commentary. "You are such a wonderful audience, and I'm glad that you appreciate such great talent when it's smurfing from the best actor in all of Smurfland. There was, however, one flaw in the performance, that I, Brainy Smurf, should have been the one to play Robin Smurf. I mean, Vanity was okay in the part that he was offered, but I would have smurfed new life into the role, and personally..."

"That was a smurfy performance, wasn't it?" Vanity said, as he appeared on stage with his brother Century, still dressed as Robin Smurf.

"I bet you couldn't tell which one of us was Vanity," Century said.

Brainy looked steamed at the revelation while the other Smurfs in the audience laughed and cheered. "Whose brilliant idea was this to cast those two Smurfs in the same role as Robin Smurf?" he wondered.

And as soon as the audience departed, and the sets were being dismantled from the stage while the actors were getting out of their costumes, Smurfette greeted Century with a kiss. "You were truly the hero of the play, Century Smurf," he said with some honest feeling behind it.

"Really, Smurfette, all I did was rescue you and my brother," Century said, sounding rather humble. "Nobody knew it was me until the end of the show."

"That's why you were the hero, Century," Smurfette said. "Nobody knew which of you was Robin Smurf. Even if you didn't have much time to smurf the role on stage, I knew in my heart who really played him as a hero."

"You're not talking about little old me, are you?" Vanity said, as he appeared before Century and Smurfette.

Smurfette snickered. "You wish I was talking about you. It's your brother Century. You smurfed all the fame and glory while he smurfed all the action. What do you have to smurf about that?"

Vanity looked a little flustered, as if he didn't know what to say. "Well...I, uh...I just wanted to...uh, say how sorry I am for how I treated you, Century. I, uh...smurfed you as just a reflection of myself. I should have, uh...known that this is, ah...just as much your life as it is mine that we're, uh...both smurfing..."

"I'm sorry too, my brother," Century said. "I smurfed you as just a reflection of myself. But this life is more yours than mine, and I don't really belong in it anymore."

"Don't be silly, Century," Vanity said. "There's always room in this village for the two of us. Our tastes in fashion may be different now, but I wouldn't want to have you be a copy of myself."

"You really think so?" Century said. "Then maybe I can smurf you my place sometime."

"Why, certainly," Vanity said. "We could smurf each other our own fashion tips. Every Smurf will smurf at our homes in envy for what they could have smurfed."

"Breakfast together at Biscotti's bakery tomorrow?" Century asked.

"You can definitely count on it," Vanity said.

Smurfette smiled as she watched the two narcissist Smurfs walk off with each other. "I'm glad to see that the both of you have smurfed your peace with each other."