A Clean Shave

It was a few days after Polaris Psyche's appearance as a Psyche was restored to normal following the cure of the disease that the Psyche Master had programmed into the Psyches for leaving the mindlink, when Duncan McSmurf greeted him. "So how's my pasty-faced friend smurfing on this day, laddie?" Duncan asked.

"This one is functioning normally, fellow Duncan, although this one still needs to wear a hat until this one's head hair has fully grown in," Polaris answered.

"I don't envy the fact that you don't like being equated to a Smurf during the time when you smurfed like one," Duncan said. "But I see that you're not just growing back the hair on your head."

"This one does not understand what you are trying to say," Polaris said.

"Feel around your face and tell me what is it that you smurf," Duncan said.

Polaris felt around his face and noticed something. "It would appear that this one has started growing facial hair. But that shouldn't be possible for Psyches."

"You mean that you Psyches never smurf a beard or a moustache?" Duncan asked.

"That is correct, Duncan," Polaris said. "The Psyche Master believes that the growth of facial hair is a sign of barbarians."

"This Psyche Master got you so upsmurfed about yourselves as a people, it's a wonder you are able to smurf as you do," Duncan said.

"It is not that we are not permitted to grow facial hair," Polaris said. "It is simply a genetic matter that as long as we are part of the collective community of the Psyches, a male Psyche does not even grow facial hair."

"Well, the reason most of the young adult Smurfs don't smurf beards or moustaches around here is that they don't have the smurfs like me to even smurf whiskers at such an age like mine," Duncan said. "It's always been a family tradition among most males in the McSmurf clan."

"This one is aware of the maturity stages of Smurfs," Polaris said. "But what concerns this one is how to remove the facial hair and keep it from growing."

"I don't think you can stop your whiskers from smurfing, Polaris, but there's something Barber has smurfed me about removing facial hair, if you would allow me to smurf you," Duncan said.

He took Polaris to the back of his house where he had a mirror and a basin of water set up. "This is a little something that I smurf on my face to keep the whiskers that I don't want smurfing on my face," Duncan said as he brought out a bowl of a white frothy substance that he was mixing with a brush. "It's called shaving cream. You smurf it over where your whiskers are smurfing."

Polaris took the shaving cream and smeared it on his face where his facial hair was growing. "And that by itself is supposed to help remove the facial hair?" he asked.

"Not quite," Duncan said as he produced a small sharp blade. "Barber smurfed me this thing called a razor which is supposed to help remove the whiskers that I don't want from my face. The shaving cream simply smurfs the job a bit easier."

"And how is this one supposed to use this razor?" Polaris asked.

"Just slowly and carefully smurf the sharp end of the blade over your face where you smurf the shaving cream," Duncan said. "You don't want to smurf your face on your first day of trying to shave."

Polaris stood before the mirror and slowly glided the razor over his face where the shaving cream was. He tried to be as careful as possible so as not to make any mistakes in his learning how to shave.

"Aye, you're starting to smurf it," Duncan said, sounding pleased as he was watching Polaris.

"This one has noticed that the Smurf named Indiana also has facial hair which hasn't fully grown in like yours or Papa Smurf's," Polaris said. "Has he tried shaving it off completely?"

"That poor lad's got the kind of whiskers that won't stay shaven, and they won't fully grow in either," Duncan said. "I try to tell him not to be ashamed of his face because that's what makes him a male Smurf, but I don't think he's interested in smurfing a word that I have to smurf about it."

"This one seems to understand his predicament, Duncan," Polaris said. "Not every Smurf in this village envies the idea of being able to grow facial hair at a time in their lives when they really don't want to."

"That hasn't stopped some Smurfs from trying, like Brainy with this magic hair tonic that he smurfed to grow a beard one time," Duncan said. "He practically littered the entire village with his whiskers, and it smurfed a good while for Papa Smurf to fully get rid of it."

Polaris finished with his shaving and felt his face. "This one's face feels just like it did before this one started growing the facial hair...only somewhat tingly," he commented.

"Here, smurf some of this on your face," Duncan said, giving him a bottle. "This aftershave will help control that tingly feeling that you'll smurf from shaving."

Polaris poured a small handful of aftershave into his hand, rubbed it onto both hands, and then placed his hands on his face. "This aftershave seems to have a stinging sensation," he commented.

Duncan laughed. "You'll get used to it, laddie. The more you shave, the stronger your face will get. Of course, I'd be eager to smurf what kind of whiskers you'll grow when you finally decide to smurf a beard."

"This one is not interested in growing a beard at this time, Duncan," Polaris said. "Anyway, this one appreciates you sharing your daily ritual with this one."

"You may want to practice with this dull blade on your face before you smurf again with a sharp one, just so you get used to shaving," Duncan said, handing him a dull razor.

Just then, Empath came over to see what Polaris was doing. "Your face seems to be cleaner than it was when you woke up this morning," Empath said.

"Duncan was sharing with this one the daily ritual of shaving," Polaris said.

"Oh, so now you're going to be shaving," Empath said. "That just makes this smurf wonder what you would look like with a beard."

"Empath, this one has no interest in satisfying that part of your curiosity," Polaris said with a slight hint of distaste.

"It's your face, Polaris," Empath said. "This smurf is only jealous that this smurf can't grow any facial hair of my own."