User blog:A Heroic Smurf/Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview with Hero

NOTE: All characters in this article, bar Hero, are the EMPATH versions of the characters. This interview is not authorized nor endorsed by Vic George, the creator of the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series, and thus is considered non-canonical. It is inspired by the "Reporter's Inside Stories" from the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series.

The Interview
Reporter: Today, my fellow Smurfs! I'll be smurfing an interview with someone rather unique.

Empath: Who is it, Reporter?

Reporter: My guest today is a Smurf, but he doesn't smurf from this universe.

Brainy: What do you mean he doesn't smurf from this universe?

Reporter: He smurfed here from his own universe using a method he didn't want to tell me.

Papa Smurf: Who is this unique Smurf?

Reporter: My fellow Smurfs! My special guest today is a Smurf called... Hero!

(Out walks a Smurf wearing a golden hat and pants, he had a gold H on his forehead and a tattoo of a shield on his upper right arm, he waves to the crowd, with only a few Smurfs applauding.)

Hero: Things really are different here.

(Hero then sits down on a sofa next to Reporter)

Reporter: First of all, I would like to thank you for coming here to our universe.

Hero: It was no problem.

Reporter: So, please introduce yourself?

Hero: Well, would you like me to tell you my full birth name or the name I'm commonly known by?

Reporter: Either way suits you, but only if you're comfortable.

Hero: Well, my full birth name is Kakarot Heroic Smurf, my fellow Smurfs would mostly call me Hero.

Jokey: (laughing) That's a mouthful!

Reporter: Don't listen to him, Hero! So, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Hero: Well, where do I begin?

Reporter: Just tell us a little bit of your background.

Hero: Well, I was once a normal Smurf before I...

Hefty: What do you mean "once a normal Smurf"?

Reporter: If you let him finish, Hefty! Then we would know, please continue.

Hero: Well, when I was 50 years old. I was happily helping my fellow Smurflings gather smurfberries for a dinner we were smurfing that day, and after I finished smurfing my second basket, I smurfed a strange glow smurfing from a nearby tree. So, without thinking, I checked to see what it was that was causing it, and that was when I discovered that it was caused by 7 different colored stones.

Duncan: What happened after that, laddie?

Hero: I'm just about to tell you, my fellow Smurf! Well, as soon as I smurfed hold of one of them, the rest began to glow before my body absorbed their power. The result was that I now smurfed this H on my head, this shield tattoo on my upper right arm and strange powers.

Brainy: That's what you get without thinking properly!

Hefty: That's all this village needs! Another Smurf with freakish powers!

Smurfette: Smurf up, Hefty! I'm rather interested in his story. Please continue.

Hero: Thank you, my dear Smurfette! You're so much similar to my universe's Smurfette, sweet, kind, and caring. Anyway, when I first smurfed my powers, I immediately told my Papa Smurf about it, and the only advice he could smurf me was to be careful with my powers. And that was a task which was impossible for me to smurf, due to my young age.

Empath: What happened?

Hero: Well...

(Hero closes his eyes tightly and clenches his fists)

Hero: I almost killed one of my fellow Smurfs!

Brainy: You WHAT!

Hefty: You're a savage!

Papa Smurf: Now, now, my little Smurfs! There must be a reason.

Clumsy: Who was he?

Hero: It was Jokey!

Brainy: Ha! Smurfs you right, Jokey!

Jokey: But, why me?

Hero: Well, one day, the Jokey from my universe smurfed a prank on me and accidently called me a power mad freak. Once he called me that, I smurfed on a uncontrollable rampage which resulted in me badly injuring him to the point of death. And there was nothing I could smurf to stop myself.

Smurfette: That's horrible.

Reporter: So what happened after that?

Hero: My Papa Smurf had to exile me from the village.

Papa Smurf: Exile! But, why did he smurf it?

Hero: He smurfed it for the protection of not only the other Smurfs, but for the village itself.

Reporter: How long were you exiled for?

Hero: 100 years.

Reporter: Similar to Empath.

Empath: Actually, it isn't. I was sent to Psychelia as a baby Smurf. At least he's comfortable in expressing his emotions.

Reporter: Okay, time for another question. Is there any Smurf in your universe that you find yourself comfortable around?

Hero: (chuckling) Quite a few actually! There's Smurfette, Papa Smurf, Dempsey, Hawkeye, Fergus, and the love of my life, Wonder.

Smurfette: (shocked) What do you mean "love of my life"? Was I not good for you?

Hero: No, no, it's not like that, Smurfette! I loved my Smurfette with all my heart. In fact, it was because of my love and respect for her that made her want to become a real Smurf in the first place.

Empath: Because you smurfed that? Wouldn't that make your Smurfette want to marry you? You didn't really give your fellow Smurfs a chance to show they love and care for her.

Hero: She didn't smurf about marriage right away, since I only wanted to get to know her better once Papa Smurf made her a real Smurf, but, my fellow Smurfs got jealous about it.

Reporter: Can you please tell us more about this Smurfette called Wonder?

Hero: Gladly! Well, Wonder was a magical creation, but she wasn't created by Gargamel.

Reporter: Where did she smurf from?

Hero: She came from a magic mirror that I smurfed whilst helping Miner.

Brainy: A magic mirror? I've never heard of such nonsence.

Hero: It's the truth! The mirror was called the Mirror of Opposition, and it smurfs the opposite gender counterparts of whoever looks into it.

Handy: That mirror sounds interesting.

Reporter: How did she smurf into existence?

Hero: Well, because I was infatuated with her, I disobeyed Papa Smurf's order since there was a lightning storm over the village that night. I sneaked into the warehouse, where the mirror was kept. And soon enough, a lightning bolt smurfed through the mirror, struck the mirror and smurfed Wonder into a real Smurf.

Reporter: I see, and how was your relationship to her?

Hero: It was smurftastic! I loved every minute I smurfed with her?

Tapper: Did you smurf anything unsmurfy?

Hero: Oh no, I was keeping myself pure until I got married. My good friend Abloec told me about how I should only smurf intimate activites with my wife.

Reporter: How long where you and Wonder married?

Hero: Well, we were married for 15 years before we decided to smurf our first child together, but in total, we were married for 391 years.

Smurfette: Was it a boy or a girl that you two smurfed?

Hero: It was a girl, Smurfette! We named her Saviour! Her full birth name being Sienna Saviour Smurfette.

Smurfette: How smurfy!

Reporter: What about the Smurfette of your universe? Did she get the Smurf of her dreams?

Hero: (chuckling) She sure did!

Hefty: Who was it?

Hero: Me!

Reporter: How could you be married to Wonder and then to Smurfette?

Hero: Well, when me and my fellow Smurfs were around our 500's, Wonder had smurfed to the end of her life cycle. Since Doctor said that since she is a mirror creation, her life is much shorter than that of the creature it is the opposite of. Her passing left me in such a terrible state, that I almost smurfed my own life by smurfing myself into the fires of Mount Versmurfius.

Smurfette: (whispering) I hope you don't smurf that when I leave this world.

Emapth: (whispering) Don't worry, Smurfette! This smurf would never smurf such a thing.

Reporter: That sounds horrible.

Hero: I know, but Smurfette told me that she would always be there for me, and to help me become the Smurf I once was.

Reporter: So what happened?

Hero: We were in a relationship for 10 years, we finally got married, which Smurfette stated on our honeymoon that it was long overdue. And finally, after 5 years together, we had a child.

Reporter: Boy or Girl?

Hero: Another girl!

Reporter: What did you name her?

Hero: We named her Miracle! Since she was one, because we were in our elder years when we smurfed her.

Reporter: Finally, one last question. Was there anything from our Smurf Village that impressed you?

Hero: Well, everything in your village is similar to mine, but the main thing that smurfed my interest the most was the Imaginarium. When I was told about what it could smurf, I just had to try it out.

Reporter: I guess you'll be telling the Papa Smurf of your universe about the Imaginarium?

Hero: (excitedly) Of course! Me and my fellow Smurfs would smurf up with so many games to smurf that we wished we had somewhere to smurf it.

Reporter: Well, with no other questions to ask. I must thank you for smurfing to our universe for this interview.

Hero: it was no problem, Reporter! I was happy to smurf here and meet so many different Smurfs! But anyhow, I must return to my universe, since my fellow Smurfs need me. Thank you all and farewell.

(Hero puts two fingers to his forehead and soon disappears from sight).