I Can't Get Him Out Of My Head

"I Can't Get Him Out Of My Head" is a mini-story that is part of the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series.

The Story
It is a quiet evening at Tapper's Tavern, when Empath and Smurfette decided to visit it a short while after their wedding in order to talk to Tapper, since they had something on their mind that was important for them to discuss.

"So how goes the marriage life so far, my fellow Smurfs?" Tapper asked as he filled out their drink orders.

"Well, this smurf and Smurfette have started smurfing our dreams together, Tapper, which is proving to be rather...fascinating," Empath answered.

"It was amazing being inside Empath's mind with him when we're asleep," Smurfette said. "It was like being inside the most beautiful garden in the world."

"Being inside each other's minds in your sleep, are we?" Tapper said. "Oh, I could only imagine what it must be like to be smurfing dreams with a female Smurf."

"Well, there's just one problem with it now, Tapper...this smurf is having trouble trying to smurf somebody else who used to be inside this smurf's head out of it during our private times together," Empath said.

Tapper knew what Empath was talking about. "Your telepathic bond with Polaris Psyche is still active, isn't it? You didn't imagine all those years ago when you underwent the bonding ritual with him that you would someday fall in love with a female Smurf."

"I don't mind that Empath has a telepathic bond with his friend, Tapper, but sometimes it feels like our being alone inside our minds is no longer us being completely alone together," Smurfette said.

"Great Smurfiny Crickets, I was hoping that this marriage wasn't going to smurf into a threesome with Empath being technically 'married' to Polaris...and that's something I would still hesitate to even call it," Tapper said.

"As far as this smurf is concerned, we're just best friends, not 'husband and wife' or 'lifemates' or whatever you'd want to call this smurf and Polaris being smurfed together in the head," Empath said.

"But have either of you talked to Polaris about this intrusion?" Tapper asked.

"Actually, Polaris sought us to talk about this problem, Tapper," Smurfette answered. "He felt ashamed that he and Empath are still telepathically bonded and wishes to find a way to sever this bond so that they could smurf some peace."

"But how do you feel about losing this connection with Polaris, Empath?" Tapper asked.

Empath sighed. "It's going to be difficult to have to smurf without this bond, Tapper, but this smurf feels that it's for the best for both of us. This smurf would like to have my private moments with Smurfette to be more...private."

"I do feel sorry for Polaris, though," Smurfette said. "He's been the only close friend Empath's had from Psychelia, even if it's because he has been bonded to him by the Psyche Master. I don't understand why Psyches must always be bonded to someone of the same sex."

"As far as this smurf knows, Smurfette, it's because the Psyche Master handles all procreation of the Psyches," Empath said. "Since he sees all physical contact as being taboo, he has to have the Psyches be able to express themselves privately in some form with each other so that they would be better able to handle not expressing emotions in public."

"But to have Psyches of the same sex bond with each other like they are married?" Smurfette said with a hint of distaste. "I'm not sure I like the smurf of that."

"I have found this part of their culture to be rather disturbing myself, my dear Smurfette," Tapper said. "Even if it's just being inside their minds, it seems to smurf against what the Almighty had created males and females for."

"Is it possible that the Almighty can sever this bond between this smurf and Polaris?" Empath asked.

Tapper stroked his chin while thinking about the question. "With the Almighty, all things are possible to the one who believes. I will make it a priority during my prayers with Him to ask if He would smurf you and Smurfette more privacy in your intimate moments, Empath."

"Oh, thank you, Tapper," Smurfette said.

"At last we could have a marriage that's just this smurf and Smurfette," Empath said.

"I will also pray for Polaris, that with the bond that he will lose with you, Empath, he will gain a new one with the Almighty," Tapper said, smiling.