Snaggers Keepers/Part 1

Polaris Psyche stood in line along with the other Smurfs who were waiting for breakfast. Not many Smurfs talked to him while he was in line, and Grouchy himself would only say good morning. It felt troublesome to Polaris that, even though he has been with the Smurfs for a year, they still haven't fully regarded him as being like one of them. Polaris never cared much for entertaining himself like the other Smurfs do, never wanted to play smurfball, never wanted to use the Imaginarium, never wanted to watch any plays or concerts at the outdoor theatre, and never even wanting to hang out at Tapper's tavern. Very few Smurfs ever wondered why Polaris would prefer something quiet to do such as reading books or even playing chess with Brainy, who always found himself losing to Polaris.

Polaris was glad for at least one thing — that his friend Empath Smurf was the only one who could relate to being both a Psyche and a Smurf. Though his friend continued to encourage Polaris to grow beyond his teachings in Psychelia, Empath was never the type who would push Polaris into doing things that Smurfs would normally do to the point of making him very uncomfortable, even if they were the right things to do.

"Morning, Polaris," Greedy greeted him as he went past all the other food items on the serving table. "What can I smurf for you on this smurfy morning?"

"Just the usual nutrient paste for this one, if you please," Polaris requested flatly.

"You sure you wouldn't want anything to smurf along with that nutrient paste of yours?" Greedy asked. "Maybe a little smurfberry jam to smurf up the flavor, or some orange juice?"

"The nutrient paste is all this one is asking for, fellow Greedy," Polaris insisted, sounding a little impatient to get his breakfast.

Greedy sighed, realizing that he couldn't try to sell Polaris on anything other than his usual once-a-day meal. "Okay, then, here you smurf," he said, handing Polaris a bowl of white lumpy stuff that looked like porridge made from a bag of cement. "I hope I smurfed it for you just like it was in Psychelia."

Polaris stuck a finger in the paste and tasted it. "A little on the sugar side, Greedy, but sufficient enough for this one's sustenance. This one appreciates your efforts."

Greedy watched, feeling a bit disappointed, as Polaris picked up a spoon and joined the breakfast table with his nutrient paste. He swore to himself that someday Polaris would find it in himself to try something other than what he was accustomed to, and Greedy hoped to be the Smurf that would make the food that Polaris wouldn't be able to resist. - Lazy was the last in line when he saw Empath coming toward the end of the line, yawning. "Morning, Empath," he calmly greeted. "I never thought I'd smurf the day when you'd be the last to smurf the breakfast line."

"That's okay, Lazy," Empath replied, rubbing his eyes. "Going over so many proposals for improving the Smurf Village has left this smurf 'smurfing the midnight oil,' as Brainy would say.  Sometimes this smurf forgets that this smurf is still a Smurf and not a Psyche."

"Well, I hope there's something left for those who smurf last, Empath," Lazy said. "I wouldn't want to smurf in this line and find out Greedy is smurf out of morning muffins."

Empath nodded in agreement with Lazy. He normally was bright and early to get in the breakfast line ahead of his fellow Smurfs, although he usually allowed Smurfette to go ahead of him out of respect and courtesy. He wasn’t the type of Smurf that would jockey for a position in line, as certain of his fellow Smurfs were fond of doing. But regardless of his position in line, Empath found waiting in line worth the while in order to get a taste of Greedy’s morning muffins, which he always made hot and fresh every morning. He believed that it made the muffins taste all the more sweeter, although his Psychelian reasoning would tell him that the muffins would not taste any different even if he bulldozed his way past his fellow Smurfs to be the first to get them.

He got his plate of scrambled eggs, mushroom sausages, and toast with smurfberry jam as he approached Greedy behind the serving table. "Morning, Empath," the village cook greeted. "Something I can smurf for the late-smurfer here?"

"Just your usual morning muffins, Greedy," Empath replied. "Do you have any of them left?"

Greedy looked toward his tray of morning muffins when he realized something. "Oops, sorry, Empath. I'm afraid that I'm fresh out of muffins!" he confessed, seeing the shocked look on Empath's face. "Is there something else I can smurf you in place of...?"

"That won't be necessary, Greedy," Empath hastily said, grabbing his orange juice and walking away from the serving table with his breakfast.

"Gee, that's funny," Greedy pondered. "I never let Empath smurf without a muffin before, and I sure didn't smurf one on him!" - "I say, Smurfette, you simply smurf smashing with every single day, always smurfing on something new," Vanity complimented as he sat by her at the breakfast table. "I must know what your beauty secrets are!"

"Oh, Vanity," Smurfette giggled, "you know by now that I don't smurf any beauty secrets. It's just a natural thing for me!"

"Always so coy, aren't you?" Vanity teased back, stealing a glance at himself in his mirror. "So many beautiful faces and so little time to smurf at them."

"Well, I'm smurftainly pleased that you like my little summer outfit I smurfed for you, Smurfette," Tailor said on the other side of her. "One time I thought you smurfed that it would be a little too small on you around the waist."

"Yes, well, that was then, Tailor," Smurfette replied, "and now, just look at me! I bet Empath couldn't resist smurfing me in your latest creation."

"Here comes Empath now, Smurfette," Jokey announced from across the table, "and he smurftainly looks smurfed off, if you know what I mean!"

Smurfette watched as Empath walked past the dining table with his breakfast and walk off to another part of the village. She could tell from Empath's face that he wasn't very happy.

"Oh, my smurfness," Smurfette said, sounding worried for him. She excused herself from the table and followed Empath until he sat down on an abandoned rock and started eating.

"Empath, what's the matter?" she asked as she sat beside him on the ground. "Whatever's smurfing on with you, you don't have to smurf it from me. I can expect Grouchy to be this tight-smurfed about his problems, but not you!"

Empath finished a bite of his food before he turned to Smurfette. "This smurf is only a little upset that Greedy ran out of morning muffins for breakfast, Smurfette!" he angrily said.

"Is that all, Empath?" Smurfette asked. "Surely he smurfed enough of those muffins to go around for everybody. Even Greedy couldn't be that greedy with what he smurfed for breakfast."

"This smurf knows Greedy wouldn't do that to this smurf, Smurfette," Empath replied, the tone of his voice not changing. "But this smurf does know which Smurf in the village would be this disrespectful."

Smurfette had a feeling she knew who Empath was talking about. "Nabby's been smurfing his hands on things again, hasn't he?" she suggested.

Empath nodded. "And this smurf's breakfast was almost ruined because of him!" He shoved another forkful of food into his mouth.

"Oooh, that grabby Smurf is so sneaky when it comes to smurfing off with food," Smurfette hissed, looking back in the direction of the dining table as if she could find Nabby among them. "He and Jokey are the worst Smurfs when it comes to smurfing off stupid stunts to make fools out of every single Smurf."

"This smurf can understand your frustration with Nabby and Jokey, Smurfette," Empath said in agreement, sounding a little relaxed. "However, Jokey never has any intention to hurt any Smurf with his form of deception called humor, and he pretty much knows when his style of humor crosses the line. Nabby's deceptions aren't that obvious, nor are they intended to be humorous, since all he seems to care about is getting his hands on more food." He then noticed that Smurfette had split her uneaten muffin in half and handed one of the halves to him. "Please, this smurf does not wish you to deprive yourself of your fair portion."

"I'm not depriving mysmurf, Empath, I'm just sharing," Smurfette stated. "Besides, I'm trying to watch my weight here, since I don't seem to smurf into my old clothes like I used to."

Empath accepted the other half of the muffin with some uncertainty. "It's strange for this smurf to see you ever need to lose weight, Smurfette, since you look slim and healthy enough to this smurf. This smurf also notices that you are now wearing Tailor's new summer outfit that he created for you, the one you said that was a bit too small for you."

"But it still smurfs to me in all the right places, Empath," Smurfette said, posing for him. "Though if I keep wearing these outfits, I might end up smurfing the other Smurfs jealous."

Empath laughed. "Now why, Smurfette, would you want to do a thing like that?"

"Somebody's got the keep the spirits of the male Smurfs up," Smurfette answered, laughing with Empath. "A girl Smurf's gotta do what a girl Smurf's gotta do!"

Smurf to Part 2