The Once And Smurfy King/Part 1

It was on a nice quiet day in the Smurf Village that a young female Smurf with short brown hair and round glasses was busy writing something in her book. Nobody but her friend, a male Smurf who looked a bit like Clumsy, took any notice of what she was doing all by herself.

"Uh, hi there, Sophia," the male Smurf greeted. "What are you smurfing there?"

"Oh, hi, Goofy," the female Smurf greeted back. "I'm just smurfing a little historical piece that I'm going to call 'The Once And Smurfy King.' It's about a Smurf in the village who once smurfed as king back before Uncle Empath smurfed home for good."

"A king who smurfed over the village?" Goofy said, sounding interested. "Uh, didn't your Papa Smurf become king for a while when Grandpa left it to smurf some wrinkleroot?"

"My Papa Smurf, ever become king?" Sophia said with a laugh. "Oh, don't be smurfdiculous, Goofy. My Papa Smurf wouldn't know how to smurf over a village if he even was king."

"That's what every adult Smurf said had happened, Sophia, just as they remembered it," Goofy commented.

"Well, it's not even half as interesting as the story that I'm smurfing, and my Papa Smurf never was king...he was a noble rebel who fought against the Smurf who became king of the village," Sophia said defensively.

"Then how come our history smurfs Brainy as the villain and not as the hero?" Goofy asked.

"If you really knew my Papa Smurf, he was never the Smurf who was really respected by anyone in the village...well, except for Uncle Empath and perhaps Uncle Tapper," Sophia answered.

"Can I read the story when you're finished smurfing it, Sophia?" Goofy asked.

"I'll let you be the one who will smurf the first copy when it gets printed, Goofy," Sophai replied. "Right now, I need to concentrate, so I would suggest for you to smurf back later when I smurf a few more chapters before the day is smurfed."

"Uh, all right, Sophia, if that's what you want," Goofy said, trying his best not to sound disappointed.

Sophia sighed as she watched Goofy head off to another part of the village. Ever since they were Smurflings, Sophia felt an attraction toward Goofy that was hard to explain even to herself. Maybe it was how her own father Brainy felt when he and Goofy's father Clumsy were both Smurflings themselves, that Goofy was someone that she could share everything that was on her mind with, even if he couldn't fully understand everything she was talking about. He just simply listened to her while she did the talking, and was amazed by even the least little thing that came as a total revelation to his limited understanding.

She felt a bit privileged as a daughter of Brainy to be living out what her Papa Smurf at times must have felt for Clumsy, in that she could possibly share herself a bit more intimately with Goofy than Brainy ever could with Clumsy. Her father told her time and again that only male and female Smurfs are allowed to be intimate with each other in a romantic way because that would lead to marriage and the creation of families, simply because that's how Mother Nature created all creatures to be, and anything else would be a violation of that creation. She began to wonder what it would be like if Brainy was allowed to share that same kind of intimacy with Clumsy, and whether Clumsy would reciprocate in kind if he ever knew that was how Brainy loved him. She then shook her idea and dismissed the notion altogether, realizing that if that was what happened, neither she nor Goofy would ever exist.

Sophia returned to her book, deciding to do a review of what she had just written before moving on to writing anymore chapters. She felt as if she was there back in the days when the story had happened, back in the generation of her Papa Smurf when they were around the same age as she and Goofy and her generation currently are. - It was midnight, and everything was calm and quiet in the Smurf Village. Only one light was seen shining in the windows: the light was coming from Papa Smurf's laboratory. The village leader was busy working on an important experiment in the middle of the night.

"...and three violet petals...a dash of smurfapiperium...," Papa Smurf said as he added the ingredients into his pestle to mix together. He then climbed up to a shelf to find the jar marked Wrinkleroot to add a pinch to the mixture, but when he opened the jar, he found that it was completely empty.

"For the love of smurf, it's all gone," Papa Smurf commented to himself. "The problem is that wrinkleroot isn't smurfed anywhere near the village. The only place I can smurf it is on the other side of the mountains, and that is a week's journey to smurf there and back." Papa Smurf then shrugged and decided on a change of plan. "Oh well, I'll just smurf a few grains of hellebore instead and see how that smurfs."

Papa Smurf added the few grains into the mixture, only to cause an explosion in his laboratory that covered his face in dark soot. "Oh, it's no use," Papa Smurf sighed, as he picked himself off from the floor and wiped the soot off his face. "I must have wrinkleroot, and there's only one way to smurf it. I must leave for the mountains by tomorrow morning...hopefully my little Smurfs will be able to carry on without me while I'm gone."

Papa Smurf left his laboratory and headed back to his own house to rest for the coming day. He knew that leaving his little Smurfs unsupervised for about a week was going to be tough, but he had faith that they would be able to carry on important village tasks in his absence. - By morning, every Smurf had gathered around the village square, eager to find out what Papa Smurf wanted. They saw him ready to leave the village with a traveling bag on hand.

"My little Smurfs, I shall be gone for about a week as I must smurf to the mountains for some more wrinkleroot," he announced. "I want you all to be good little Smurfs and make sure you smurf all the important village tasks until I return."

"Oh, Papa Smurf, I wish you didn't have to go," Smurfette said.

"Are you sure you're going to be all right smurfing to the mountains by yourself, Papa Smurf?" Hefty asked.

"You needn't worry about me, Hefty," Papa Smurf said. "I'm smurfectly capable of protecting myself from any dangers that may smurf my way. You just be mindful of the things that need to be smurfed in the village while I'm gone."

"I'm certain that we'll be able to smurf care of ourselves in your absence, Papa Smurf," Tapper said.

"Aye, I doubt that we'll smurf too much trouble around here," Duncan McSmurf said.

"And if there is any trouble smurfing on in the village, I, Brainy Smurf, will be the first to let you know about it, Papa Smurf," Brainy said.

"I'm very certain that you will, Brainy," Papa Smurf said. "I will see you all later, my little Smurfs."

They all waved goodbye as they watched Papa Smurf head off into the forest. Then Player Smurf came hopping around with a ball in his hand. "Say, who wants to play smurfball with me?" he asked.

A few Smurfs decided to join Player in the game, but Brainy was quick to interrupt. "Hold it, hold it, hold it," he said in a commanding tone. "How can you think of smurfing ball at a time when Papa Smurf is gone and there are important tasks that need to be smurfed? We need to get ourselves smurfing on the bridge to make sure that it is well-smurfed and ready for use when Papa Smurf gets back."

The Smurfs reacted negatively to Brainy's comment. "Hey, who died and smurfed you as the leader of the village, Brainy?" Player said.

"Yeah, Brainy, we can smurf whatever we like now that Papa Smurf is gone," another Smurf said.

"Why don't you smurf on an egg until it hatches?" a third Smurf said. "That will make you pretty useful around here."

"I hate eggs," Grouchy said.

"Look here, my fellow Smurfs, whenever Papa Smurf is gone, I am the one who is in charge around here, so whatever I say is whatever you smurf," Brainy shot back.

"You, the Smurf who is in charge around here?" a Smurf named Anonymous said with disbelief in his tone. "If anyone should be in charge of all the Smurfs in the village, it should be me."

The other Smurfs laughed at this. "Anonymous being in charge? Oh, don't make me laugh," Jokey said.

"Now that is really funny," Smurfette said, as she also laughed.

Duncan McSmurf stopped laughing when an idea came to his mind. "If Brainy and Anonymous want to smurf it out over who gets to be the leader, I should say that we all vote on who would be the better of the two."

"I would have to agree with you on that, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said. "We should let the two candidates smurf their case of why they should be the village leader, and then by tomorrow we all smurf our votes to see which of the two will be the best candidate. Does anyone agree or disagree with that?"

"Brainy and Anonymous as candidates for the village leader?" Hefty said. "Well, I say we let them prove themselves before we all smurf the vote."

"Yeah, I would certainly agree with that," Handy said. And the other Smurfs all spoke their minds to show their support for the voting process.

"If that's how we're going to get things smurfed around here in the village, then I think it's fair that we should smurf a democracy to prove once and for all that I, Brainy Smurf, am fully capable of being the village leader in Papa Smurf's absence," Brainy said. "Wouldn't you agree, Anonymous?"

"Of course I would, Brainy," Anonymous said.

"Then, my fellow Smurfs, it is settled," Tapper said. "May the best of the two be the one whom the Smurfs will choose as the leader."

"And may that Smurf be me," Brainy whispered to himself. - As the Smurfs headed off to doing their own things, Anonymous wandered around the village thinking to himself. "So I have to smurf myself as the Smurf who is best suited to smurf as the village leader," he said in his ponderings. "The only question is, how. I've never been in charge of anyone else in my entire life."

It was during his ponderings that he saw Brainy speak to Chatty out near the forest, with Chatty looking like he was getting irritated listening to Brainy. "...and besides, that's what I always tell Papa Smurf," Brainy said. "I said, 'Papa Smurf, am I not the smurfest Smurf of my generation of Smurfs?', and Papa Smurf tells me that I smurf better than all my fellow Smurfs. That's the reason that you should vote for me."

After Brainy was finished and walked away, Anonymous went over to talk to Chatty. "Brainy is just so annoying, isn't he?" Anonymous asked.

"And I thought I was the real chattersmurf," Chatty replied. "That Smurf just doesn't smurf up for anything."

"Well, if I'm elected, I promise that I will smurf a law in place that will outlaw all bores," Anonymous said.

"Really?" Chatty said, looking at Anonymous with wonder. "My friend, you have my vote!"

"Hey, that's smurfy!" Anonymous said, sounding pleased. As they both walked away, Anonymous realized that the best way to get votes is to make promises. He looked for the next Smurf he could get his vote from when he heard the sounds of a Smurf gorging on food inside his house. Anonymous realized that this was Nabby Smurf, so he decided to pay a visit.

"Good food, eh, Nabby?" Anonymous asked as he greeted his fellow Smurf who was sitting at a table with lots of food he was eating.

"I may not be a cook, but I know smurfy eating when I taste it," Nabby said with his mouth full of food.

"Well, I don't think that Greedy and his crew smurf enough cakes around here," Anonymous said. "If I'm elected, I'll make sure that cakes will be smurfed every day."

"Really? You would do that just for me?" Nabby asked, sounding curious.

"Every Smurf will have double rations of sarsaparilla, Nabby, and there will be pancakes smurfed three times a week if I'm elected," Anonymous replied.

"Pancakes? Awesome!" Nabby said, sounding very excited. "You'll definitely have my vote!"

Anonymous seemed pleased that he now has two Smurfs that will vote for him. As he walked out of Nabby's house, he saw Vanity passing by, looking at himself in his mirror. He decided to get Vanity's attention and see if he will vote for Anonymous.

"Oh, what a handsome Smurf you really are, Vanity," Anonymous said in a flattering manner. "You're the Smurf that every Smurf adores and admires, because you're the pinnacle of smurfiness that every Smurf, including myself, wants to be, and I truly mean it."

"Really?" Vanity said, sounding captivated by Anonymous' words. "What can I say? I'm definitely voting for you."

Anonymous was pleased that he now had three Smurfs that would vote for him. He raced down to the riverside where he knew Lazy would be and decided to lay down next to him to get his attention.

"Hot enough for you, Lazy?" Anonymous said. "No Smurf should be made to smurf on such a hot day."

"Yeah, you've smurfed it right there," Lazy responded, barely opening his eyes to even see who he was talking to.

"In fact, if I'm elected, I'll smurf a law that states that nobody has to smurf unless they feel like it, even on hot days like this," Anonymous said.

"Really?" Lazy said with a yawn. "Oh, how smurfy of you. You'll definitely have my vote."

Anonymous got up and ran back to the village. "It's smurfing, it's smurfing!" he said to himself "If I can convince them all that I'm the Smurf to vote for, then I will surely win the election." - And so throughout the day Anonymous' diplomacy continues with his election campaign. The next Smurf that he visited was Carpenter Smurf, who was busy sawing logs that Timber Smurf cut down for him in order to make planks of wood.

"If you vote for me, Carpenter, I promise that I will smurf all your logs," Anonymous said.

"Really?" Carpented said. "How smurf of you. You'll definitely have my vote. And when you're finished with the smaller load, you can smurf the bigger one right behind you."

Anonymous turned and saw the big pile of logs that was right behind him. It was going to be laborious, but he made a promise and he was going to see it fulfilled even if it made him hurt.

After a while, Anonymous walked away feeling worn down from all the work he had to endure. "Well, that was surely a hard-smurfed vote," he said to himself.

Then suddenly a sharp sour sound of a horn being played made him jump. He turned and saw that it was coming from Harmony Smurf, who was sitting outside his house playing his trumpet.

"Ah, so it's you, Harmony," Anonymous said. "I was wondering where such smurfy music was coming from. If I'm elected, I promise that I will smurf you the chief soloist of a smurfing band."

"Really?" Harmony said, sounding intrigued. "Then you'll definitely have my vote. Since you're a big fan of my music, perhaps you'd like to smurf one of my latest compositions."

"Uh...you mean right now?" Anonymous said, trying to be polite about his refusal. "Well, it's a smurfy idea...but you see, I must be going."

"Fine, then let me smurf with you," Harmony said as he got up from the bench he was sitting on as Anonymous started to walk away.

Anonymous looked like a Smurf who had to endure torture as he listened to Harmony playing his music while following his fellow Smurf around. "Uhhh, the things I smurf just to get elected," Anonymous muttered to himself.

Shortly after, as Anonymous and Harmony had parted ways, Jokey came up to him with one of his presents. "Say, Anonymous, since I heard you're campaigning to be the new village leader, I might as well smurf a personal contribution by smurfing you this present," Jokey said.

"For me?" Anonymous said, sounding pleased as he received the present from Jokey and started opening it. "Why, you shouldn't have!"

Then suddenly the present exploded in Anonymous' face as he lifted the lid, causing Jokey to laugh. "So how do you like my little campaign contribution?" Jokey said. "Really smurfy, isn't it?"

Anonymous stared at Jokey with a look that could kill his fellow Smurf on the spot, but then he decided to play along with it by forcing himself to laugh at the joke. "Yeah, you really smurfed me that time, Jokey. In fact, what I like the most about you is your smurf of humor. If I'm elected, I promise that I will smurf you minister of the jokes and pranks department."

"Really?" Jokey said, sounding astonished. "You'd smurf that for me, even after what I smurfed on you? Then you'll definitely have my vote." -- Later on inside his own house, after he had cleaned himself up, Anonymous was pacing around thinking of how he could attract other potential voters when an idea came to mind. "Maybe I should smurf up some campaign posters," he said to himself. "All I will need is some paint and several smurfs of loose-leaf paper."

He turned to look outside his window and saw Dimwitty passing by. "Hey, Dimwitty, I was wondering if you could smurf me a favor and smurf me several smurfs of loose-leaf," he requested.

"Uh, sure thing, Anonymous," Dimwitty said as he eagerly went to get the items.

Anonymous looked around his house to see if he had any paint lying around. He saw a jar sitting on the shelf and looked to make sure that it was still fresh. He then went to get a paintbrush and found it just as he heard knocking on his door. "Uh, I smurfed you the loose-leaf, Anonymous."

Anonymous seemed pleased that Dimwitty would get the items so fast. He went to the door to receive them, but when he did, he was not pleased to see what Dimwitty got instead. "I said for you to smurf me loose-leaf, not oak leaves," Anonymous yelled.

"Uh, sorry, but they were the loosest leaves that I could smurf," Dimwitty said.

Anonymous tried to think of how he could get Dimwitty to vote for him, so he decided on a tactic based on what he knew Dimwitty would do, which was always the wrong thing. "Listen to me, Dimwitty. Tomorrow you're going to vote for Brainy Smurf, not for me, you hear? Vote only for Brainy Smurf."

"Uh...okay, Anonymous," Dimwitty said before he walked away muttering to himself, "I will vote for Brainy Smurf...I will vote for Brainy Smurf...I will vote for Brainy Smurf..."

Anonymous seemed pleased that he might have another voter on his side instead of Brainy's. He looked around for another potential voter that he might sway, and he saw Grouchy passing by outside, looking as sour as usual.

"Hello, Grouchy," Anonymous greeted as he walked over and followed right behind his fellow Smurf. "Things not smurfing very well today?"

"No," Grouchy answered without looking.

"Me neither," Anonymous said. "I mean, this election is what's smurfing me. It's such a chore to have to vote."

"I hate voting," Grouchy responded, still not looking at Anonymous.

"I despise voting myself, Grouchy," Anonymous said, trying to sound convincing. "They claim you smurf the power to choose, but it's all really luck of the smurf. Anyway, since you have to vote, why not vote for me, huh?"

Grouchy was silent for a moment. Then he just said, "I hate Smurfs who try to smurf me to vote for them," and continued to walk on.

Anonymous stopped in his tracks after hearing what Grouchy said, realizing that he may have lost a vote. "Well, let's get smurfing, then," he said as he walked off in another direction.